From Cooties to Booties

One of the clear requests from parents at our Echo Parent Summits last spring was for some age appropriate teaching on sexuality and God’s plan for our Middle School students. This is something we talk about often in Echo High School, but it is not something we openly address in Echo Middle School. Consistently, the parents of our Middle Schoolers asked us to rethink that approach.

So, starting this Sunday, we will begin a two week teaching series on God’s plan for sexuality for Echo Middle School. The series is called “From Cooties to Booties.” We are going to be careful to be age-appropriate, focusing on God’s plan for sexuality in a funny and light hearted way. This is not going to a “health class” talk, it is not going to be a “birds and the bees” talk, and it will not replace what should happen early and often at home with mom and dad. We will focus on what the Bible says and what Christ-following young teen should think and practice on this subject.

August 8th – From Cooties to Booties – Justin will teach with guys and gals together. This message will address some of the negative/false messages that are sent every day to our students from a sex-obsessed and misinformed culture. We will talk about what God has to say about it and see what our response to the truth should be. You can be sure that we will talk about these issues with honesty and grace, never guilt.

August 15th – Guy Talk/Girl Talk – The guys and gals will meet in separate groups to talk about some gender specific issues. Justin will teach the guys and Jamie will teach the ladies. Here we talk about treating the opposite sex with immeasurable value, as well as recognizing our own immeasurable value in the eyes of God.

Topics we will include: Crushes and middle school romances, the hurry some students are in to grow up or to appear “mature,” the best places to go when you have questions, the dangers of pornography, what is appropriate affection for a middle schooler and what is not, etc. God’s plan in a sentence: God gave us sex as something wonderful that build intimacy between a husband and a wife: purity now paves the way to intimacy later, while experimenting now erodes and damages that intimacy someday.

If you are not comfortable with your student attending these services, please feel free to hold them out (you know your child better than anyone). If you have any questions for me, feel free to email me or call me this week or next.

One last thing: this is a great opportunity to bring up some tough topics that parents often find uncomfortable. Leverage this at home! Talk about this with your kids, even if it isn’t comfortable.

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Twilight – Summer Cinema Series

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This Sunday, in the Main Service at DCC, I will tackle the movie/book Twilight as a cultural parable. We did an entire series on the book a few months back for Echo High School, and we had some great conversations with our students about desire, temptation, appetites, and sexuality. As I prepare to talk to DCC’s adult population, I have never had so much “input” from people that want to make sure I handle the message “correctly.” This is not from teenagers, this is from adults. People LOVE their vampires it seems.

My thoughts for the parents of Echo students on this book, movie, and cultural phenomenon are as follows:
First, let me comment on the church and cultural engagement. Years ago, when the craze was a boy named Harry who happened to be a wizard, our youth ministry did a sermon series talking out redemptive themes and looking critically at the worldview behind the “Potterverse.” The fact that a youth ministry was talking about these issues severely disturbed a pastor of a neighboring church. He called me to warn me about the dangers of witchcraft and the sinister nature of Harry Potter and to tell me about the plan of the author to turn our children into warlocks. When I respectfully disagreed, he called the officials of the denomination I was credentialed with (who told him to mind his own business). The facts as I saw them then were: 1.The kind of fantasy magic in books like Harry Potter resembles the real witchcraft that the bible forbids like W.W.E. resembles real hand-to-hand combat. It is imaginary. The imagination is something that honors God and should be set free and employed to the purpose of the Kingdom of God. 2. The church is at its best when it can hear the stories and songs of the culture it finds itself in and redeem them. Hiding from culture or ignoring culture are two fast ways to minimize the influence God has called His people to have. 3. The apostle Paul, when preaching to a crowd of pagans and philosophers in Athens, did not quote scripture. Instead, he quoted the words of one of their own poets. He used the art and expression of the receptor culture to find common ground for spiritual conversation. 4. Not one of the students that sat through our sermon series on Harry Potter became a warlock. No spells were cast and no brooms were ridden. My point is that the crowd that says “Vampires are evil because blood drinking is forbidden in the Old Testament” needs to be reminded that no one reading a novel about a girl falling in love with a vampire believes such vampires actually exist.

Second, let me tell you why I do think the Twilight books are somewhat dangerous. Many students (and children) are reading these books like they consume most media: in a vacuum. They watch TV alone because mom and dad don’t want to watch what they want to watch. They listen to music with little white earbuds because mom and dad don’t want to listen to that “noise.” My experience has been that teens and children are great observers but horrible interpreters. They don’t miss the subtleties of emotion or even innuendo that we assume goes over their heads. They have no idea what to do with the information or emotion they observe. When mom is reading Twilight with them, she can be so engrossed in the romance herself that she does not view the book through the eyes of her teenage daughter. I heard of a facebook club started by one woman calling women to join whose “husbands no longer met their expectations after Edward.” Song of Solomon, which is a Hebrew love poem, says 4 different times: “Do not awaken love before its time.” The bible is not down on sexuality, it celebrates it. It does however warn young people about starting a fire they cannot control. Twilight is a highly erotic book for the teenage mind. Yes, the characters remain celibate and their romance seems outwardly and physically appropriate. Yet there is much erotic tension in the wanting. Bella does not want to live without Edward, Edward hungers and thirsts for Bella. This is a heavy amount of passion for a 6th grader. They might not be able to connect the dots about how Bella offering up her neck to Edward on Prom night to make her a vampire is more than a bit allegorical about her virginity…but they do feel the impact of all the fantasy, desire, and longing that are exchanged between the teenage characters. There is a time and a place to celebrate that kind of intimacy, but it is not in the teen years. Our young teens do not always know how to process the introduction of this kind of emotion. Would you think it was appropriate for a father to give a 6th grade boy a Victoria’s Secret catalog? We all know how visually stimulated teenage boys are, so this type of thing rarely happens. I am not so sure we are as diligent about protecting our girls who are equally as stimulated emotionally. Again, I am not saying that Twilight is evil, but I am saying that parents should be aware of the heavy emotional and sexual themes in the story and prepare their teens accordingly.

Third, I believe strongly that more than anything else, parents shape the values and worldview of teens. If you haven’t yet, have some good conversations with your teen about sexuality. We know its awkward…we know they act like they don’t want to talk to you about it. I really believe it is all an act – they secretly want and need your guidance and advice on this stuff. Talk to them often and talk to them openly. Twilight gives you a great excuse!

I will blog about a few talk points for you and your teen over the next few days taken directly from our sermon series to Echo High School.