This is about being intentional, doing Christmas on purpose. This Christmas, what we want to do at DCC and in Echo is enter the true Christmas story.

Last Sunday, we finished the series talking about the essence of the Christmas story. John 3:16 – “For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.” I know this is not a Christmas passage: there is no nativity; there are no Christmas carols about this verse. But this verse is about the incarnation. The spirit of Advent is really wrapped up in this short verse. God Loved, so God Gave.

1. God Loved the world. Even the messed up fallen world that is full of selfish people and brokenness. He loved us. He loved us in our mess of imperfection and faults. Even with the selfishness we display this time of year, driven to accumulate MORE, he loves us. He loved little girls obsessed with pillow pets. He loved teenage boys with pornography problems. He loved middle school girls that gossip and create drama. Sometimes talking about God’s love makes people imagine that God is indulgent and just gushes on us, like he is happy no matter what. We think something like: “Because God loves me, it means he is okay with me no matter what dysfunction is in my life.” This isn’t quite right. The reality of God’s love means that he feels compelled to rescue us from our brokenness. God’s love motivates him to heal and bring life like a doctor’s compassion motivates him to move toward sick people to make them well. You wouldn’t think that a doctor that did nothing to heal a sick person was compassionate, no matter how nice and indulgent they were. The same is true for God – he loves us, so he cannot allow us to stay as we are. So he acts on his love, and he sends Jesus.

2. God Gave His Son. God’s response to love he felt for the world was to give His Son. He didn’t send a card, or a necktie, or a video game. He didn’t give a fruitcake or some cookies. He gave something precious. God gave the most precious and valuable gift ever conceived. For so long, people have thought about ways to give to God, to satisfy or appease the higher power. Thinking about the Biblical story, what is God looking for? People have thought that the answer is ritual or material or financial. People have tried to give sacrifices and religious activities. What would it mean to respond in love like God responded in love? When God loved us, he gave His son to a broken world.

What if the gift God wants this Christmas is for us to keep doing likewise? What if we are supposed to give ourselves to a broken world? When God gave His Son He gave himself. This is the mystery and beauty of the Trinity. The Father is the Son and is the Spirit. This is the incarnation – where God gave himself. The best gifts then are going to be those that follow in this pattern. The best gift you can give this Christmas is yourself. This sounds right, and it is the Spirit of Advent. God Loved, and so God Gave. We love God, so we Give. This is the response of everyone when their eyes are opened to just how much God gave us. God gave us his Son, God gave us the Kingdom – and so we GIVE. We give something precious and valuable to us to a world that needs help.

This is what it ultimately means to enter the story of Christmas – to follow God’s example in self-giving. Because God gave Jesus, we have everything we need. When you learn to see the world and your situation through the eyes of God’s economy, you discover what already have. The system of our culture always amplifies what we don’t have, but God’s Kingdom gives us eyes to see the enormous amount we do have. Here is the truth: you don’t need anything you don’t already have. You do not need more perfume, another electronic gadget, another video game, or a better cell phone. Our culture tells us these lies and we believe it. The truth is, none of that stuff will make us happy – AND it is entirely possible to shift your perspective and be happy with what you already have! With the eyes of the Kingdom, you see your abundance, and it makes you content and generous.

The only adequate response to blessing and abundance is to figure out how to give it away. The right response to the gift of God is to GIVE MORE. Look at this passage: Luke 12:32-34- “Do not be afraid, little flock, for your Father has been pleased to give you the kingdom. Sell your possessions and give to the poor. Provide purses for yourselves that will not wear out, a treasure in heaven that will never fail, where no thief comes near and no moth destroys. For where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.”

This warning follows the story of the rich fool and teaching from Jesus about being content and trusting in God and not worrying about material things. Jesus is reminding people that are focused on material things and the false security they offer that such worry is senseless. “Your father has been please to give you the Kingdom,” what more could you ever need? The response that Jesus sees as natural might surprise us. Jesus teaches that when you realize how much God has blessed you and you recognize what you have been given, you will respond by “selling your possessions and giving to the poor.” You will overflow with generosity! This is one of the most basic teachings of the Bible and one of the deepest laws of God’s Kingdom: you have been blessed to be a blessing to others!

Nehemiah 6:1-16 – Nehmiah’s opponents tried to stop the construction of the wall by threatening violence. It didn’t work. The wall is almost completed, and so the opponents change their tactics: they try to assault the character of Nehemiah, attempting to ruin his reputation and damage his influence with the king, with the nobles, and even with God. It is an attack of false statements, slander, and blackmail. They threaten to accuse him of treason. They threaten him with assassination in hopes he will go into hiding. They hire a false prophet to intimidate him. Nehemiah survives this attack because he is a person of Integrity. You either have it or you don’t, and if you don’t, eventually everyone will know about it. Nehemiah’s integrity puts him in a place to call their bluffs and refuse to play their games. This kind of response is only possible for those with nothing to hide. His integrity makes him above reproach – think about how rare it is to find someone in our world that is “scandal proof.” How freeing it would be to live with nothing to hide – no secrets that could tarnish your reputation or ruin your credibility. This is what Integrity is all about. If there is no false accusation that can possibly stick, you don’t need to fear slander. This story is remarkable because there is no deceit, no cover up, no counterplots, and no insincerity. This is totally different than the modern political scene! He refuses to be intimidated and answers their charges with open and direct statements. I love Nehemiah’s response in verse 8: “Nothing like what you are saying is happening; you are just making it up out of your head.” We talked out with our students what it means to be a person of Integrity.

First, the price of integrity is doing more than just enough. Sometimes people mistake an attitude of “good enough” for integrity, but they are not the same thing. Integrity goes above and beyond expectations – it takes the high road even at personal cost. It never asks: “what is enough to get by?”…it asks: “how can I exceed the standard?” Here is a hard lesson about leadership, but you need to understand it if you hope to have influence. When it comes to leadership: “others may, you may not.” Others may, you may not. I often have conversations with teens about defining what exactly is a sin. What is really being asked is “how close to the line can I get without crossing it?” This is a very common attitude but it is not the attitude of integrity. “Enough” is o.k. for many, this is what makes it average. When you find someone that gives so much more than enough, it is remarkable. The exceptional will demonstrate a level of integrity that will win them influence. Leadership hinges on this principle. You can be skilled and talented and smart, but your influence can very easily be eroded by a lack of character. It takes a long time to build trust, but only a moment to destroy it. It means there is a price to pay if you want true influence. Let me show you what I am talking about from Nehemiah’s life, just to give you a window into what kind of guy he is.

Nehemiah 5:6-13 – The situation here is one of recession. The people of Jerusalem were such a mess financially, they had to take loans from people (they called them Gentiles) outside Jerusalem from surrounding nations at very high interest. The interest was so high they could not afford to pay back the loans. (Really? What do we know about that!) This causes them to give up property and land and even their wives and children as collateral. The people of Jerusalem had become slaves again to outsiders! Nehemiah shows up casting vision to rebuild the walls, and he discovers they cannot give themselves to this work because they are so busy working to pay off their debts. The government is in shambles, and the previous governors were actually a part of this problem. They took their salary, and then they used their position to take additional money and food and land. Property values have dropped and the Nobles are taking advantage of others’ hardship and turning a quick profit on the low market prices. Nehemiah comes in and he and his people offer a bailout – a financial package that tries to end the crisis. He gives his own money to buy off these loans, and he doesn’t charge interest. Not long after, Nehemiah discovers that the Jewish Nobles have again loaned the poorer people money at high interest rates and they are in the same exact crisis again! Charging interest to another Jew is against the law of that time. The people are back in debt and the crisis is back! Nehemiah is TICKED OFF. He confronts to the nobles and condemns this practice: “What you are doing is not right!” Loan to them, but stop charging interest! The interest is exploiting these people. You are taking from them the collateral they put up on loans you know they cannot repay! Stop taking advantage of your own people! He wanted to reform this practice of injustice. He charges them to give back the lands and property and money of the people. Here is the crazy thing: they agree with him without a fight. Why does this go so easy? Why can he come in and demand something so hard of them and they agree?

It is because the payoff of integrity is “moral authority.” Nehemiah 5:14-18 – Nehemiah’s seemingly impossible ask works because he has moral authority. They trust him. He explains in v. 14. Now, understand that it might have been enough for Nehemiah to just not be corrupt and to take his fair share and no more. “Enough” is not enough for Nehemiah, because he wants to demonstrate moral authority. “Out of reverence for God I did not act this way.” He actually surrendered his salary for 12 years to see his country out of a recession. He could have taken advantage of the low market to buy up land and increase his wealth, but he didn’t. As a result, the nobles followed him. They followed not just his words, but his example. A pastor named Andy Stanley said: “Moral authority is total alignment between your creed and your deeds.” It means you do what you say. It means you are a person of your word and are trustworthy. Nehemiah motivates the rich to care for the poor – loan to them without charging interest. They were inspired to be generous because he was generous himself. Nehemiah doesn’t lead because they call him governor; he leads because he has moral authority. He gives himself to the building of the wall and to seeing his country out of the crisis. He doesn’t sit back with a cushy and luxurious job, enjoying the perks of his position. Instead, at personal cost he leverages his wealth for others. Because the demands on the people were heavy, he didn’t take what was rightfully his. He did exactly what he was asking others to do and more. The nobles took him seriously because he had earned their respect and trust by going above and beyond. He could stand in front of the rich and powerful and lead them because for 12 years he led by example, walking his talk. He won a level of influence you cannot be given with a title.

If you want to lead with moral authority, you have to be willing to do more than you expect or require from others. If people see a discrepancy between what they hear us saying and what they see us doing, we lose the ability to influence them. Are you willing to do more than other people think is enough? Keep this in mind – this level of authority takes a very long time to build, but just a moment to destroy. Don’t sell your integrity cheaply, because it is very costly!

For discussion:
*Talk about with your teen about some leaders you know whose influence was damaged by scandal or a lack of integrity. How can our choices today guide us away from a similar fate?
*Talk about the dangers of the digital age we live in and how this forces a level of accountability on people. What used to be private can easily become public on youtube or facebook. A bad choice can go viral and be viewed by thousands. How can we protect our reputations and live with integrity online?

There seems to be two different Christmas stories fighting for our attention. One is the story of Jesus birth, where God became human and entered our mess to redeem and restore what was broken by sin. This story is called “the Gospel” because it is such good news. The other story often distracts from the true story – the one where people are rushing around from shopping mall to shopping mall, full of tension and anxiety about material things. Do I have the right gifts? Can I buy enough gifts? What can we get Grandpa? Maybe Christmas is more about chaos and mass consumerism and less about Jesus entering our world? Think about the chaos of “black Friday.” Each year, the day after Thanksgiving, people wake up at 3am to wait in line outside of stores and shopping malls to get the best deals on stuff so they can give it to people to communicate love. This is a love story, but it is a love story about a different god, one of stuff. The truth is: black Friday is a worship event…but is it the right worship event? “Advent” is the word the church uses to refer to the season of Christmas, which comes from a Latin word (adventus [Greek: parousia]) which means “coming.” It is a celebration of the coming of Christ. The event of Jesus coming to earth changed the world, and it can change it still. What Echo is talking about this season is “simplifying” Christmas – not to take the fun away, but to make sure what matters most gets the most attention.

Simple = clear.
Simple ≠ excess.
Simple ≠ stress.
Simple ≠ clutter.

This is about being intentional, doing Christmas on purpose. This Christmas, what we want to do at DCC and in Echo is enter the true Christmas story.

The birth of Jesus is an event of cataclysmic scale that should be celebrated with worship and awe, yet we have found billions of ways to make Christmas about us. Why does no one ask” “what are you giving this year?” instead of “What are you asking for?” or “What are you getting?” Why do we make lists of what we want long before the holiday while we wait to the last minute to find gifts for others? The answer is that Christmas is all about ME. This is a dangerous reality for teens, because they naturally occupy the center of the universe already. The danger is that they miss a truth of vital importance: Jesus has come into the world, and His coming demands a worshipful response!

What story does your family’s celebration tell about Christmas? I don’t mean something tacky, like t-shirt slogans or street corner preaching. I do think that our worship should tell the story of the coming of Christ. By that I mean that our heart and our attitude should be focused on Jesus and not on the nonsense of our culture. I am not talking about the “Christmas Spirit” (or whatever that phrase means). I am talking about returning our eyes, our hearts, and our attention to the coming of Jesus.

How do we do this? I know what you are thinking: I saw that Christmas movie. We all have. We all know what the next 30 days will be about. We will see about a dozen movies and hear the same 25 songs over and over again. There is nothing unexpected about the message either. It is the same every year: “Don’t be a Scrooge or a Grinch. Believe in Santa, or all the reindeer will die. The best way to spread Christmas cheer is for singing loud for all to hear. If you get a BB gun for Christmas, you will shoot your eye out. Don’t be bad or ninjas will storm the North Pole and destroy all the toys…” What I think God is looking for is the sense of wonder and gratitude.

So this season, celebrate. Have fun. Give gifts. But celebrate for the right reasons and give gifts that mean something, not just some thing. Here are some ideas:

*Serve Together as a family. We just did this with our 3 year old, so it is possible for you too!
*Get an Advent Calendar or search online for a list of readings from scripture that follow an advent calendar. Commit to doing this for 8 minutes every night. Even better – make one with your family that you can use for years to come.
*Give your time instead of more stuff. Do something fun together instead of adding another video game to the cabinet.
*Sit down and read the story of the first Christmas from Matthew or Luke’s Gospel as a family. Even if it seems cheesy and your teens act resistant, they might secretly love it. Maybe sneak it in before dinner.
*Give a gift that will bring your family closer, like a game you can all play together. (My personal suggestion is Settlers of Catan!)
*Choose which parties to attend and which activities to do on purpose. Limit the amount of clutter on the calendar for the next month.

The Hero Retreat was about inspiring students to do what they can. It sounds simple enough, but if we are honest, most of us actually do very little. There seems to be overwhelming need around us, and we feel pretty small in comparison. What can one person do, in the face of so much need, so much evil, so much darkness, and so much pain? The problems of this world are so intimidating it is easy to be discouraged and feel helpless. After all, I am only one person. One of the most important verses for understanding the work of the Kingdom of God is Acts 4:13.
“When they saw the courage of Peter and John and realized that they were unschooled, ordinary men, they were astonished and they took note that these men had been with Jesus.”
These were average, every-day people in normal positions in their culture. But they had been with Jesus. And that changes everything. If you have been with Jesus – then He is with you. I am just one person, but I am not alone…

A hero does what he or she can do. This is not a statement can be taken a few different ways. On one hand, you can use this statement to disqualify yourself from anything great, limiting the expectation of your contribution to the problem. I get it, the problem is HUGE. This is what happens when people witness an accident or a crisis and stand around doing nothing. We have been conditioned to believe small things about ourselves and to know our limitations. We can’t feed every hungry child, cure every disease, and prevent every injustice. We can’t solve the big problems of our world on our own. We are overwhelmed with the magnitude of the problem, so we don’t think we can do anything, and we do nothing. The difference between a hero and everyone else is that a hero doesn’t think this way.

Most think: “I can’t do everything;” but a hero thinks: “I can’t sit here and do nothing!” No one ever did anything great while whining about how much they “can’t” do. This is what happened on a January day in 1982, in Washington D.C. when Air Florida Flight 90 crashed into the Potomac River. The plane hit the 14th street bridge and crashed into the frozen water of the river. 78 people were killed in the horrific accident. 5 people survived the wreck, only to struggle with the freezing water of the Potomac river, unable to swim to safety because of injuries. Rescue crews struggled to get the survivors out of the river – and the survivors struggled to hang on to the rescue lines with broken and frozen limbs. Frustrated on the bridge, an office assistant named Lenny Skutnik couldn’t take it anymore. He stripped off his coat and boots, and in short sleeves, dove into the icy water and swam out to assist her. He drug her through the icy water safely to shore. When asked about it, he said: “Somebody had to go into the water, why not me?” The crowd asks “why?” Heroes ask “why not?” Somebody has to do something about it; it might as well be me. There were many people standing around painfully aware of the need, but only one jumped into the water. We have been so conditioned by our culture not to get involved, we think things like: “Let the professionals do their job.” “I will probably just get in the way.” “What can I do?” Lenny Skutnik’s story makes us feel strong. It reminds us about the best parts of humanity, the potential within each of us. It makes us feel heroic and inspired. Lenny’s story (like so many other stories of heroes) reminds us that sometimes human beings can do amazing things – because we were created by someone amazing to do amazing things.

Most ask: “Why me?” A hero asks: “Why NOT me?” We tend to underestimate what we are capable of. Seriously: I think you underestimate what you are capable of. Another way to look at this statement is through the eyes of Jesus – who thought we were capable of something great. We have disqualified ourselves from greatness because we believe the lie of our insignificance. We have become convinced that the problems of this world are so overwhelming that we cannot do anything to solve them. This paralyzing sense of inadequacy spreads like a cancer. What if we took Jesus and his belief in us seriously? Jesus wanted to change the world – and he decided to do it through a group of misfits and knuckleheads that were already overlooked by their culture. The astonishing truth of the Jesus movement is that the world was forever changed by the efforts of unschooled, ordinary people. They were not super heroes. They did not have super powers; they did not have special abilities. They were not geniuses or savants. They were not famous or super talented; they were not kings or queens. These were average, every-day people in normal positions in their culture. But they had been with Jesus.

In the face of challenge, most shrink back, but a hero rises up. This is undoubtedly how Lenny Skutnik felt. He was an office assistant in the Congressional Budget office. He was just trying to get home on a snow day, fighting traffic, normal, everyday stuff. He is not a coast guard rescue swimmer, he wasn’t even on a swim team! He left the house that morning the same as he always did, and expected more of the same from his day. It was a normal and routine day. Routine has a way of lulling us to sleep, of convincing ourselves of our smallness. This is exactly how he felt, until a crisis woke him up. It became instantly clear that he needed to be something more. In the moment you are called on to do something heroic, you either shrink or rise to the challenge.

You cannot do everything, but you can do something. You cannot feed every hungry kid, but you can feed one. You cannot solve every problem, but you can solve one. Open up your heart to something outside yourself and see what God will put there. See the challenge, weep over it, let it in – but then listen to my challenge: stare that impossible, insurmountable thing in the face and instead of shrinking back, RISE UP. Dare to TRUST HIM.

Check out this dramatization of Lenny’s story here.

1. It’s all about ME…or it’s all about THEM. We have a harmful tendency to focus on our rights in a relationship instead of our responsibilities. This is true in your relationship with your church, with your friends, and it will be true in your marriage: any time you reverse responsibilities and rights, you will be frustrated and disappointed. A huge mistake, but a very common mistake is to get these two things mixed up. We talk in our culture all about our “rights.” We have the right to be treated nicely and to be fawned over and to be appreciated and recognized. We have been told our whole lives how special we are, and so it is no wonder that we expect everyone to be about the business of satisfying our needs. We have the right to be happy, if everyone would just get with the program of making us happy. It always seems when our needs are being met correctly that everyone else is to blame, and we focus solely on the problems with their character. Here is the truth: as long as you focus on your rights or your needs being met in a relationship, you will be disappointed. This is not how things are designed to work. The truth is you are responsible for your own character and the needs of others. If you can focus on your responsibilities, you will be so much happier because you will only worry about things that are in your control. In any relationship, the only element you have any control over is you. You can control your character, your reactions, and your affections. Too often, we want everyone else to change according to our needs and we come into relationships with this expectation. When we are frustrated because this set of priorities does NOT work, we will try to force it through manipulation. This is when we try to control the people around us. Manipulation uses weapons like guilt and fear to control others. You don’t have any legitimate control over other people. Change yourself – grow. Don’t try to change the people around you. You will only resort to manipulation if you do because you will be frustrated by failure.

2. It’s none of my business…or everything is my business. There is a ditch on either side of this road. Check out Galatians 6:1-5 – bear one another’s burdens, and fulfill the law of Christ. There is so much in this passage. You see that this passage teaches we have a responsibility to our brothers and sisters in Christ to help them out and have their backs. Sometimes we assume that “it’s not my business.” This is really just a thing we say, because we make it our business by judging and gossiping anyway. We have a responsibility for the people we love. It is to protect them, to truly have their backs and look out for them. This passage says our responsibility is to “restore them gently.” This is not talking about criticism or rebuke; but about admonishment. It is a positive thing. The Proverb says “the wounds of a friend can be trusted, but an enemy multiplies kisses.” That means that the people that tell you what you want to hear don’t care about your nearly as much as the people who are courageous enough to tell you what you need to hear. But this passage also reminds us to check yourself, to examine your own heart and not overdo it with being everyone else’s conscience. This passage is not an invitation for you to go around sticking your nose in everyone else’s business. It reminds us that our character should be our primary concern, even when we are looking to the needs of others. Balance is key. Know when it is your business and when it is not your business. How can you tell? Well, if you can actually help or you are in a position of authority or proximity, it might be your business. This passage is counter-cultural for a lot of reasons, at least it is not how many of us are comfortable in the way we handle relationships. Love wins in environments of open accountability. When we hear people talking about others, often, we remain silent. Either we like hearing the gossip, or we don’t want to get in other’s business. Unity is your business. We become accomplices in the gossip if we don’t shut it down. If you shut your ears, they will shut their mouths. Negativity is dangerous; it is a highly contagious disease that infects the heart.

3. If I ignore it, it will go away or get better…or it is my job to point out everyone else’s issues. Another lie we believe about relationships is that sources of conflict can be ignored and they will go away. This is not how it works. Hurt does not go away, it grows and festers and becomes ugly like an infected wound. Small offenses can be overlooked, but often the best thing to do is address an issue directly. Face conflict, don’t run from it. Tell the truth. Fight fair. Deal with issues openly, don’t hide it, don’t stuff it, and don’t avoid it. We often hope a problem will just go away if we ignore it. It will not go away; it will just get worse and the longer you wait to talk about the more awkward it will be to have the conversation. The key is to balance truth and love. One without the other makes conflict destructive. Remember that GRACE is the face love wears when it sees imperfection. Choose to show grace to the people around you. Let me caution you here: a critical spirit is seriously dangerous. It seems to be a widespread practice where fault-finding and criticism is the normal way to address others’ imperfection. We tend to view ourselves through a lens of our strengths and successes, and judge others through a lens of weaknesses and mistakes. Friends will let us down and they will disappoint us. Sometimes we will be unhappy with their choices or their behavior. How we decide to react to such a situation is largely determined by how we have chosen to think about people.

Thoughts to ponder:
-Are you modelling healthy relationships for your teen, including healthy conflict resolution? Remember that what we do will always have a greater influence than what you say.
-Discuss with your teenager: how healthy do you think your friendships are? How about our family relationships? What could improve on my part? What could improve on your part?
-Do you struggle more with avoiding potential conflict, or with sticking your nose in other people’s business? Why?

Check out 2 Corinthians 10:3-5 – Paul is talking about the struggle he has to help people understand the Gospel and his ministry. He is struggling against and arguing against “false teachers” that are defaming him and telling lies. You might call this a propaganda war; it is about which voices will be most influential on the beliefs of others. To this conflict, Paul says this: “For though we are human, we don’t wage war as humans do. We use God’s mighty weapons, not worldly weapons, to knock down the strongholds of human reasoning and to destroy false arguments. We destroy every obstacle that keeps people from knowing God. We capture their rebellious thoughts and teach them to obey Christ.” Paul is talking about spiritual warfare as a mind game – a contest of ideas.

It was true back then and it is true now – there are forces at work in the world that seek to control the way you think, and some of those forces are sinister and harmful. I have talked with so many people that are plagued by destructive patterns of thought – held prisoner to lies, deceptions, and false assumptions about God, about themselves, and about others. Many times people are ignorant about the spiritual dimensions of such thoughts. What happens in your mind makes a very big difference in your life.

Behind our behavior is our worldview – the deep rooted beliefs at our core. I am not trying to imply that changing your patterns of thought is an easy thing to achieve, like you can just flip a switch and think differently. Paul uses the word “stronghold” on purpose. A stronghold is a fortress, a place of refuge from attack. Such fortified cities were very important in the ancient world, and Paul’s audience knows to what he is referring. One of the most famous “strongholds” of the ancient world is the city Masada, a place so well fortified it held off the Roman war machine for a long time in the first century. This image would have helped Paul’s original audience imagine an obstacle very difficult to overcome. Some of our destructive patterns of thought run deep – they are the root of insecurity, dysfunction, addiction, etc. Some of these patterns of thought are generations old – it is the way you were taught to think by your parents, who were taught something similar by their parents, and so on. Changing such deeply rooted patterns of thought is hard work. You cannot begin to live the truth until you believe the truth, and you cannot believe the truth until you hear the truth. Our culture is constantly telling its story and propagating its version of reality. this is why it is so important to read scripture and see and understand the Kingdom of God. It is a different way of looking at reality. Mind games matter. What you believe determines how you behave. Your core beliefs influence your actions, reaction, and attitudes. These core beliefs change slowly. They are deeply held and ingrained convictions that we hold close to our hearts.

Bringing down a stronghold is a war of attrition. Overcoming a stronghold is going to involve a siege. The Romans laid siege to the Sicarii at Masada for months before they could take the city. In a siege, sometimes you have to starve the enemy out. It is a war of attrition, it isn’t fun, it isn’t fast, but it is effective. How would you do this in spiritual warfare? It would mean blocking access to the food or the fuel for certain destructive patterns of thought. We live in a world where we have access to so many avenues of information. Much of this is very influential on our thoughts – some of it even has the goal of controlling your mind and shaping your worldview. Marketing is a mind game. It is about the battle of ideas, the power of suggestion. It is ultimately about control. It is about getting people to do what you want them to do. We can convince ourselves or be convinced that something that is untrue is true. Sometimes these sources of information are feeding destructive and unhealthy patterns of thought.

Follow me on this: if you are struggling with this attitude of “lack” that feeds a materialistic and shallow lifestyle, you should probably be careful about fashion magazines and trips to the shopping mall. If watching stick-thin actresses pretend to be average people on T.V. makes you feel fat and provokes your insecurity – you should probably watch something different. If you are struggling with lust or looking at women as objects, but you are not addressing your pornography addiction, nothing is going to change anytime soon. Some strongholds need to be starved! If facebook feeds your “drama” addiction – unplug. There are some behaviors or compulsions that are rooted in a spiritual stronghold – which is a deep system of thought or belief. You cannot change them until you change the way you think.

Food for discussion/thought:
*We all deal with destructive patterns of thought in different ways. What are some “mind games” that you struggle with? (Critical thoughts, insecurity, pride, envy, jealousy, shame, depression, doubt, lust, prejudice, etc.?)Can you identify some harmful thought patterns that need to be adjusted in light of the claims of Jesus?
*Do you agree that core beliefs change slowly? Why do you think this is?
*In your mind, can you think of any strongholds that you need to stop feeding?

<Thanks to stufficanuse.com for the picture>

Thriving faith is really about having a heart that is captured by God. Everything else seems to be less important when your give your heart to something or someone. I am talking about being passionately in love with God – worshiping Him with all your heart, soul, and strength. This is the one thing. If God has captured your heart, if you have seen and experienced the Love of God, you will be able to see through everything else.

There are many rivals for the attention and affection of a teenager: fashion, cell phones, iPods, boyfriends, x-boxes, sports, school, pride, vanity, and so on. None of these are inherently evil, but they can still mess up our priorities. There are some great things out there that we can love and be passionate about, but when these things become the center of our lives, we will find that they are inadequate. Many of the things that demand our attention and affection are good things, but they are not supposed to be central things. Inordinate affection has a corrupting and decaying affect on the object and the giver of love. As creatures we have been designed to keep God at the center of our lives. This is a truth that sometimes gets diminished because of fear.

We hear God demanding our love with heart, soul, and strength, and sometimes we feel guilty about loving other things. The secret is that loving God with everything does always not subtract from the love you can display for other things, in many cases it amplifies it. When you center your life on Him, even your passion for other things can be better and healthier. The best way for me to love my wife is to love God with all my heart, and then I learn to love her more. Love is an infinite resource in God’s kingdom.

I learned this in a powerful way when I became a father. I love my wife intensely, and when our first daughter was about to be born, I wondered how I could make room in my heart for another. So, when she was born I dutifully took the love I had for my wife, cut it in half, and gave half of my love to her and half to our daughter. Of course that is silliness! That isn’t how love works. The truth is that when Arabella (my daughter) was born, I loved Jamie (my wife) MORE than ever, not less. Love can do that – it can grow in capacity infinitely! The more you love, the more you have the ability to love. The same thing was true when my second daughter was born. It was not a challenge to find enough love for her as well, as if I had to make room in my heart for her. In reality, my heart just grew bigger and my love for each member of my family grew as well. Our love for God is much the same: when we direct our attention and focus our affection on Him, our passions for every other good thing in this world become more pure, more refined, and more intense.

So do it! Unlock the secret to thriving faith: receive love from God and return it to Him with everything you have.

Questions to ponder with your teen:
*What does it mean to love God with all your heart?
*What about with all your soul?
*What about with all your strength?
*Does this mean that you cannot love anything else? Why or why not?

Some people would classify Middle School as a survival scenario. Students leave the predictable environment of elementary schools to roam the labyrinth of middle school hallways and deal with the dangers within. They are faced with social pressure and social changes as cliques are formed and friend groups are tested and established. They are slammed with physical changes as puberty complicates the scene with unwelcome hormones. As a youth pastor, the range of exposure in middle school is hard to navigate: some girls are tucking their stuffed animal collection in at night while other girls are dealing with sexual attention from their boyfriends. This month, Echo has been talking about strategies for survival in middle school. Our goal is that all of our students do more than survive these turbulent years and they actually thrive: growing in wisdom, maturity, and influence.

Survival experts will talk about the Rule of Three, which is a way to establish the order of priorities in a survival situation. A person can live for:
three minutes without air,
three hour without shelter,
three days without water,
three weeks without food,
and three months without love.

When it comes to Surviving Middle School, the rule of 3 looks a little different. These are the three areas that every adolescent needs to address if they are going to survive:

1. The Challenge of Identity – Who am I? One of the things students soon discover in Middle School is the amount of labels that are tossed around. People want to categorize other people: are you going to be a jock, a skater, a hip hop boy, emo, preppie, goth, glamor girl, punk, geek, brain, lax bro, or whatever. So much energy in Middle School can be spent trying to maintain your reputation or enforce or define you label. The danger is when students stop being themselves in an attempt to be who others want them to be. Middle schoolers need to be reminded that they are not what the crowd says they are; not unless they choose to become that. No label or reputation really defines one’s identity. Some students will rise above this pressure and refuse to defined by anything but God. These students know that first and foremost they belong to God and what He says is most important.

2. The Challenge of Belonging – Where do I fit? One of the biggest challenges students face in Middle School is LUNCH. The questions that troubles many in the first weeks of school are: where will I sit? Who will you sit with? Do any of my friends have the same lunch that I have? Remember, they are in the uncharted wilderness of the Middle School social system; the last thing they want is to be the person that has to sit alone! The question “Where do I sit?” is really about a deeper question: “Where do I fit?” Never before has who you choose as your friends mattered so much. Here are a couple of survival tips that we offer to new middle schoolers: figure out before hand which of the friends you already know have the same lunch as you, so you know what to expect. We also give our students this challenge: be on the lookout for people who are sitting alone – it is your job as a follower of Christ to not let that happen. Never underestimate how much friends can affect your future.

3. The Challenge of Purpose – Do I matter? Do my choices matter? Every student has to deal with the challenge of establishing autonomy. This is the source of much conflict between parents and teenagers. As they search for independence, they often do so by pushing back against authority figures, especially mom and dad. They start desiring greater levels of freedom without necessarily demonstrating greater levels of responsibility. Here is the good news: everything I have seen and everything I am reading is still confirming that students values and choices are MOST influenced not by media or their peer group, but by their families. As parents, you still are the most important voices in the lives of your students. They will listen to you, and they do listen to you. This can be tough to believe during the times of one-word answers and ipod earplugs, but it is still true. The time you spend with your teenagers and the input you give them will have the greatest affect on their values formation.

One of the mistakes that I see parents make is assuming that the “stiff arm” of their teenage kids actually means they want “space.” They are struggling with the challenge of autonomy, and how they express their independence from you while still feeling that they want to be close to you. Push through the stiff arm and know that you are the most important voice in their world. Your affirmation and guidance will always carry more weight than anyone else’s. We have to learn to hear what they mean past what we think they are saying. It is easy for us to misunderstand the language of adolescence (largely because it is always in the dialect of sarcasm with an accent of attitude), but let me try to translate a few things I am sure teenagers are looking for:
-They long to belong. (They say: “You don’t know me.” We hear: “I don’t matter to them.”)
-They long to be taken seriously. (They say: “You never listen to me.” We hear: “They don’t want to listen to me.”)
-They long to matter. (They say: “I can do it!” We hear: “They don’t need me.”)
-They long for a safe place. (They say: “I’m fine, okay?” We hear: “They want to be left alone.”)
-They long to be uniquely themselves. (They say: “It’s my life – you can’t tell me what to do.” We hear: “They don’t care what I think.”)
-They long to be wanted. (They say: “Nobody cares about me.” We hear: “They don’t care about me.”)

Echo has been following the research of the “Sticky Faith Project” for a few years now, and listening carefully to their recommendations and findings. They have just published a great article on stickyfaith.org about the tough transition for college freshmen and their parents.

Check it out here: http://stickyfaith.org/articles/out-of-the-nest

Luke 24:13-35 – tells a dramatic story, one you can imagine vividly. This takes place on Easter Sunday – the very first Easter Sunday, before many people have seen the risen Jesus. Two disciples are walking toward a town called Emmaus, their hopes and dreams shattered. They were confused and downcast – heading into the sunset physically and figuratively. They are travelling west; the setting sun before them is a constant reminder of the growing darkness in their hearts and their sinking hopes. These are people whose expectations have been frustrated. They are a picture of disappointment. They have just endured a wild ride of emotion: discovering Jesus, marveling at his teaching, witnessing his miracles, and eventually believing his claims about himself. They were compelled so much by the person of Christ that they left their former way of life and became disciples of Jesus. Then, all their hopes and dreams are dashed to the ground as Jesus is arrested, tortured, and executed. Try to imagine what it would have been like to ride this emotional roller coaster. The fall is so much worse because of how high they soared!

This line captures everything: “We had hoped that he was the one who was going to redeem Israel.” They had placed their hopes in him – they had bet on Jesus and risked their trust and affection. The expectation of many was that the Messiah was going to lead Israel to military victory and usher in the Messianic Kingdom. When Jesus was executed, his followers all assumed their hopes were misguided. Jesus was defeated; the movement he began would die out. Maybe these men were journeying back home to life as usual. Maybe they were going to give up. These people had to be confused like so many others were. They certainly felt far from God. In their minds, they had never been more defeated and Jesus had never been further away. How could God let this happen? Why did this happen? These are the kinds of questions that people ask as they process the grief and letdown of disappointment.

This is where the story gets very interesting, because they were wrong. Jesus was not far, God had not stopped acting, and God’s plan was still unfolding before them. When they felt like God was so distant, Jesus was actually walking with them. Maybe they are looking right at the setting sun to they can’t physically recognize Jesus because all they can see is his silhouette. Maybe their hearts are so broken that they cannot see with the eyes of hope. Whatever the reason, they cannot recognize the nearness of Jesus, his victory on their behalf, the activity of God to bring life and not death. This speaks to all us – can we see through the eyes of hope even when we are thoroughly disappointed?

What if God is closer than you think? These disciples learned something on the road to Emmaus: even if Jesus seems distant and hope seems lost, God is still at work and Jesus could be walking right beside you. Life takes us down all kinds of different roads. Some of those roads go through dark country and are treacherous and difficult to travel. In these moments of weakness or darkness or despair, it is easy to think that god is not there and that He is not working on your behalf. I just walked through something like this with a friend. His mom just died, far too young and far too tragically. What was remarkable was that in the midst of this loss and difficulty, my friend could still talk about how close God was, almost like he was being carried through the pain. I don’t know if the pain is any less, but it is better to bear when you are not alone. Another friend lost his fiancé to an evil crime just months before their wedding. When we talked to him, he told us about how great God was and how near Jesus and the community of faith came to support him through this time. Be careful about making the mistake of assuming that because you walk a lonely or difficult road, God is not there. It is precisely this reality that the Psalmist wrote about: “Even though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for you are with me.” (Psalm 23:4).

Are you journeying toward the sunset or toward the sunrise? Another way of asking that is: does the road of your life take you closer to death or life? I don’t mean optimism or pessimism, I mean are you actually growing in life and journeying away from death? Do you walk toward choices and realities that will bring death and destruction into your life, sapping your hope? Or are you pursuing life and those things which strengthen you and make you grow? If Jesus wants to meet you on the road and journey with you, he does want you to go in a certain direction. When these guys realize that Jesus has been walking with them, they understand everything in new light. They are not defeated and downcast and depressed, they are filled with hope and life. They turn from the sunset and start heading toward the sunrise of something new. Hope has been awakened in them – hope for something better. Hope that God’s plan has not been thwarted and that God’s kingdom is still invading this reality and hope that Jesus is alive and that their present frustrations and difficulties do not need to define their reality. They can have hope in a better tomorrow and an even better one beyond that. This is a huge part of what it means to live in God’s Kingdom. It means recognizing and embracing the redemptive plan of God to restore this broken world. It means having eyes to see the beauty of God’s work rising from the ashes of our human mess. This is what it means to have resurrection faith: to believe that since the resurrection of Jesus, all creation is following him out of the grave as the Kingdom of God advances. This is the hope we can put our confidence in and share with a world that so desperately needs it.