Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: redeeming culture, engaging culture, connecting parents, youth ministry, ECHO, Billy Mays, pitchmen
Sorry it has been so long since my last blog, I was really shaken up by the death of my beloved Billy Mays. Well, I guess that is a bit of an exaggeration and a poor excuse. Speaking of Billy Mays:
Echo Middle Schoolers are experiencing a new teaching series right now called Empty Promises. We live in a world of constant advertisement, where every time we turn around, someone is offering to solve our problems or improve our lives for just $19.99 plus shipping and handling. Whether it is Sham Wow, Zorbeez, The Magic Bullet, The Hercules Hook, Magic Putty, Slap Chop, or Oxy Clean – the pitch is generally the same. These products claim to save you all kinds of money and deliver amazing results, but the real story of these products is that after paying $19.99 plus shipping and handling, what gets delivered to my house is disappointment.
They never seem to live up to the hype.
Well, what did I expect? Do I really expect that something I bought on TV would solve all my problems? The real issue for me is a bit deeper: in a culture that promises so much but delivers so little, how can we trust the promises of God? The fact is that God promises us some pretty incredible things, and that we can actually trust Him. God’s promises are never empty, which is more than I can say about Billy Mays or the Sham Wow guy. In this series, we will check out some of the biggest promises of God – the ones that almost seem “too good to be true.”
To celebrate the great pitchmen that are helping us teach about God’s promises, I am wanting to start a contest – the first ever Echo Film Contest. The best “pitchmen” style video commercial about something to do with ECHO will be worth MAJOR bonus points.
***Questions to talk about with your teenager:
-What is your favorite infomercial or pitchmen style product?
-People often say “If it sounds too good to be true, it probably is.” Do you agree with this statement all the time? What about when it comes to God?
-What are some of the biggest promises of God in the bible?
-Do you ever struggle to believe some of God’s promises?
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: connecting parents, family, joshua, Parents, Teens, thanksgiving, turkey
Echo High Schoolers have been talking through the book of Joshua this month, centered on the story in Joshua 4 of twelve stones being taken from the center of the Jordan River to serve as a reminder of the miraculous event of their crossing into the Promised Land. The passage commands:
“In the future, when your children ask you, ‘What do these stones mean?’ tell them that the flow of the Jordan was cut off before the ark of the covenant of the Lord. When it crossed the Jordan, the waters of the Jordan were cut off. These stones are to be a memorial to the people of Israel forever.”
On a similar theme, this Sunday, Echo Middle Schoolers will hear about the spiritual practice of celebration, and how scripture is filled with feasts and festivals that commemorate the activity of God among His people. God loves a party, and especially a party with a purpose.
This week, we will do what we do as we celebrate our holiday of Thanksgiving. Family will reunite, traditions will be observed, a meal will be shared, and a nap will be had by many. In my house growing up, we would feast with family (TURKEY!), watch the Lions lose at football, and do some more feasting on turkey sandwiches after dessert. What I remember most was when the family would actually take time sharing specifically what we are thankful for. Even my youngest cousins were required to share something. This exercise gave the day meaning.
So, while you carve the Turkey, be sure to carve out a time and a place to some real “thanksgiving.” Practice celebrating each other, remembering what God has done on our behalf, and expressing our thanks for everything. Here is my suggestion, it sounds cheesy, but I think with the Holiday as your excuse, you can get away with it: everyone needs to express what they are thankful for in exactly three sentences. That helps teenagers get past the one word answer and it helps long winded family members to be cut short before the food gets cold.
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: redeeming culture, engaging culture, connecting parents, youth ministry, ECHO, love your neighbor, live out love, Love is a choice, love a stranger, help someone in need, good samaritan, Acts
75 Echo students just returned from our Fall Retreat, a weekend packed full of God encounters and memories. This year, our theme for the retreat was Love Revolution, where we explored the story of a crippled man meeting Peter and John outside the temple gates. We examined this story from three different angles: Peter’s perspective as an unlikely hero, the story of the unlikely partnership of Peter and his former rival John, and finally the perspective of the man begging at the temple gate. Saturday night, we brought the weekend home as we talked out what this man’s story means for us today.
We know of him that he was forty years old, and that he had been crippled from birth. We know that he had arranged a way to get placed every day to beg at the temple gate. This man has a sad story, but everything in his life was about to change. He was about to meet two agents of God’s Kingdom, two people committed to having their lives become an Echo of Christ. That day, three things happened to him that had maybe never happened before. It changed his heart toward God, and it changed his life forever.
First, he was seen – This is remarkable because it is easy to imagine that his life up to that point had been on the receiving end of indifference. The text makes note that “Peter and John looked intently at him.” He was noticed, he was valued. This man had to be so used to being ignored and overlooked. We all know the feeling, because we have all done it. We see a homeless man on the road, or some other undesirable, and something in our fear or misunderstanding makes us reflexively think “don’t make eye contact and I am O.K.” It was 3:00pm, a regular time for temple prayer. This was a crowded scene – many people had already walked past this man. Some had given him pity, throwing him a few coins or a scrap of food. None of them had given him love, none of them had given him anything of true value. People like to be charitable, but they rarely perform acts of charity that are truly sacrificial. This beggar might have learned to expect nothing from most people that passed by. But these two men seemed different. They didn’t look over him, they didn’t even look down on him, they looked right at him, and they saw him. Where others had given him indifference, they gave him their attention.
Second, he was helped – This is remarkable because it is easy to imagine that his life up to that point had been on the receiving end of inaction. When the beggar found the courage to ask for money, he must have been disappointed when Peter gave his answer: “I don’t have any money.” This man though he knew what he needed, but he was wrong. He was asking for the wrong thing. Jesus once said to a woman that as they talked about drawing water from a well: “if you knew who I was, you would ask me for living water.” Well, if this man knew who he was talking to, he might have asked for something more. This did not stop him from receiving what he needed though. Peter continued: “I don’t have any money, but what I do have, I give you. In the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth, walk.” At first, his emotion might have gone from disappointment to confusion and anger; this was an impossible thing he was asking for! Yet there was something in the faces of these men, some deep well of love and sincerity, and the man must have realized that it was not a demand, but a gift. As if to ensure he was making good on his promise, one of the men reached down with his hand to pick up the cripple. Peter helped him up. He reached down with his hand to pull him off the ground. This is the most practical, tangible expression of love this man could have received. At that moment, this man who had been crippled for 40 years, never able to stand let alone walk, became aware of a strange new strength in his legs and feet: instead of collapsing beneath him, they actually supported him. He could stand! Miraculously so! He decided then to be brave and bold and reckless – and venture to do what he had never done: walk. He put one foot in front of the other, each step a miracle, each step astonishing, each step bringing more strength and health and life and faith. Soon, walking seemed such a plain and ordinary thing to do. He began to leap, jump, and run – daring to trust in the reality he was experiencing and casting away the haunting suspicion it was all a dream or that it would not last. After 40 years of broken immobility, being held in a motionless prison, and dependent on the charity of others – he could now move. By the Grace of God and the power of His Holy Spirit, this man could do what he had never even dreamed of doing. He leapt and ran, with each step discovering all his new limbs were capable of. People all around began to worship and exalt God – as if his joy was contagious. Where others had shown him inaction, Peter and John showed up with action.
Third, he was invited in – This is remarkable because it is easy to imagine that his life up to that point had been on the receiving end of judgment. This man had somehow arranged to be set outside the temple gate that people called “Beautiful.” It was an ornate gate made of decorative bronze, and it was a famous sight that tourists would visit. This was an ideal place for a beggar to find crowds of people. What I want you to think about though is what this crippled man thought about God. As a cripple, he was not allowed in the temple court. Outside the gate, there were notices posted in Latin, Greek, and Hebrew warning those unqualified to stay out on penalty of death. Think about how this man had to think about God, the one that had overlooked him, rejected him, labeled him unacceptable, unworthy. The Beautiful Gate had become to him an ugly barrier. He must have felt invisible. In his culture, it was assumed when you were crippled that you or your parents had done some horrible wicked thing, and the infirmity was God’s way of punishing you. Everywhere he went (with his limited ability to travel) he was judged and looked down on. How was he to think of God as anything but the unloving, hateful judge? This is so important, and I don’t want you to miss it: Peter and John showing this man mercy, acceptance, and love actually helped this man rethink his assumptions about God. It enabled him to soften his heart and receive from God. It was through faith in Jesus that this man was able to be restored, and that faith is only possible with a receptive heart. Peter and John showed him the truth about Jesus through their LOVE. The first thing they do with him once he is on his feet is walk him right through the Beautiful Gate, into the Temple Court. He can enter now because he is whole. This gate had become a symbol of his separation from God, but that separation has been erased in Jesus.
****Thoughts for you and your teenager:
*This story is about faith in Jesus removing the barriers between a man and God. What barriers stand in between people and God today?
*Peter and John were the avenue of love, mercy, and acceptance to this man. Their love helped him rethink his concept of God. What do you think our culture’s perspective of God is? Why do you think that is? What should followers of Jesus do to reshape this perspective?
*Who do you identify with most in the story, Peter, John, the crowds, or the crippled man? Why?
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: Acts, boring church, church and teens, connecting parents, Dulles Community Church, ECHO, engaging culture, Eutychus, Family Ministry, help someone in need, love your neighbor, never ending story, Parents, redeeming culture, student ministry, Teens, youth ministry
The 4th message in our series The Never Ending Story brought us to a passage that is comical and tragic at the same time. Acts 20:7-12 tells the story of a young man named Eutychus. Eutychus means “Lucky.” However, this guy was not so lucky. Paul is leaving the city of Troas in the morning, and I guess he is trying to make the most of his time. After an evening of “church,” Paul keeps preaching late into the night. Our lucky young man Eutychus is trying to stay awake, but he can’t. He falls asleep. Now this is a problem because the meeting is being held on the third story, and Eutychus was sitting in the window sill. When he falls asleep, he actually falls out of the window. It wasn’t the three story fall that killed him; it was the sudden stop as he hit the ground! This story is a bit amusing, but still pretty tragic. A young man dies in this story, right in the middle of their church service. Now, it does have a happy ending, because Paul raises him from the dead. This is one of only a few miracles like this in the whole Bible. What is crazy to me is that after this drama, Paul goes back up stairs to finish his message.
As someone who has given his life to help this generation of young people, this story hits me pretty hard. I have sat through some boring messages in my life, the kind you wish would end, and I am sure I have even delivered a few myself. I have to ask the question: why did this young man fall asleep? Why was he in the window? How did this happen? In many ways, a whole generation of young people have essentially “fallen asleep” when it comes to God’s Kingdom. What is going on? Is church boring teens to death?
Was Eutychus bored? If so, I find this disturbing. Something has gone horribly wrong when the revolution that was started by Jesus Christ is viewed as boring. It means that we are under-challenging people and soft-peddling the gospel. I am not saying that everyone should be able to love the message of Jesus. It could be rejected as too hard, but it should never be boring. This is an assumption that I would really like to do my part to challenge. The message of Jesus is anything but boring and irrelevant.
Was Eutychus worn out? Maybe he was like many teenagers in this area – a bit overloaded with “stuff.” Maybe he had just finished his biology homework, knowing fell well that he still had that English essay and those Latin vocab words to memorize by tomorrow. Plus there is always a girlfriend to text, karate practice to attend, and a meeting for some future business leaders of Loudoun County that his dad made him join. Maybe he was just worn out. Maybe Eutychus had no time for what really matters because he was so busy with other stuff.
Was Eutychus overlooked? This is the one possibility that I really lose sleep over. One of my friends and ministry mentors told me a haunting story. When he was a youth pastor, he had an unremarkable boy named Brian Warner visit his youth ministry several times. The boy did not connect with anyone, make a friend, or try very hard to get involved. The group did not seem very interested in involving him or reaching out to him either. After a few weeks, he was gone. What makes this boy stand out a bit in the sea of nameless faces is that he is now known by a different name: Marilyn Manson. Just a thought – but his future could have been considerably different if one or two teens showed some hospitality or concern.
The thought that any teenager would feel like they do not matter or they do not belong breaks my heart. That should not be the case as long as God has any people living and breathing down here on earth. The Kingdom of God is in the business of ascribing unsurpassed worth to everyone, even those that might otherwise be overlooked or go unnoticed. Every student should matter, they should be seen, and they should be known. We talked out this week how it is the responsibility of all of us to make sure this never happens.
Echo exists because we are concerned about the teens that are sitting in the window in danger of falling asleep concerning the things of God. We want to seek out the teens like Eutychus, invite them off the window sill, and help them hear the challenge of the Gospel of Christ.
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: Acts, Dulles Community Church, ECHO, engaging culture, Holy Spirit, never ending story, Pentecost, student ministry, Teens, the Empress, youth ministry
When I was a kid, my world was rocked by a movie called The Never Ending Story. A boy finds an old book, and as he reads he is drawn in to the adventure story. There are mythic creatures, heroes, and enemies; a beautiful empress (one of my first childhood crushes) and a world in peril. At some point, he realizes that he is actually in the story himself; that what happens in the story is connected to him in some way. Beyond his imagination and his connection with the characters, his choices in the world have a direct impact on the world in the book. As “imagination” dies in the real world, “The Nothing” claims more of the fantasy world.
The book of Acts in the Bible is sort of like this story. It doesn’t really have an ending; it ends abruptly with Paul in prison, almost like it is unfinished. This has led some people to believe its author died before it could be finished, but other people believe it was intentional. The book of Acts functions as a history of Christianity, telling the stories of the earliest followers of Jesus. Maybe the author intended it to be unfinished to imply that the story of Christianity continues with future readers. The story isn’t over, there is no ending, it continues with you and me. Reading the book of Acts, we might find that this story is our story: that we are actually connected to the book. In that regard, maybe it is the Never Ending Story.
This month in Echo, I am challenging our students to read through the book of Acts as we examine some of the episodes from the earliest days of the Jesus Revolution. As we explore the adventures of the first followers of Jesus and their quest to advance the Kingdom of God, we will be constantly asking the question: how can I find myself in this story?
Week 1, we talked out the role of the Holy Spirit in the book of Acts. The Holy Spirit sometimes doesn’t get much press. In the old creeds and catechisms (the way the Christian faith has been handed down for generations) Jesus and God the Father get paragraphs of explanation, but the Holy Spirit barely gets one line. Early in Acts, Jesus promised his disciples that when He left them, they would be “baptized with the Holy Spirit.” That word baptized literally means “immersed.” John (the baptist!) immersed people in water as a symbol of being washed to be cleansed of sin. Jesus is saying to the disciples that they will be “immersed” in the Holy Spirit. It will be like they fell into the pool: they will be soaked, drenched, surrounded, and covered by the Holy Spirit. Pentecost, the event that follows, is when the first Christians receive the Holy Spirit. This event is what opens the book of Acts, clearly demonstrating that everything that follows is the result of the Holy Spirit working through these first Christians.
This is AWESOME. The Holy Spirit at work through the followers of Jesus a major theme in the book of Acts. You will see over and over again the phrase “…filled with the Holy Spirit.” It is very clear that what is happening is not because of the people, it is because of the power of God through the Holy Spirit. They did some amazing things in this story. Thousands of people join the Way of Jesus through their ministry, people are physically and spiritually healed, and dramatic miracles take place all because of the activity of the Holy Spirit.
Some of the time, we do not experience God like we could because we are too impatient. We do not give God the chance to show up. We want our relationship with the King of Heaven to work like the microwave: giving us what we want immediately at the push of a button. The thought of waiting for days in prayer like they did in Acts 2 sounds boring and tedious, because much of our faith experience is just “going through the motions.” What if we recognized that we serve a God that wants to be experienced? What if we prayed and worshiped like there is a God that is real and powerful and wants to be with us and near us on the other end of our songs and prayers? If we could settle down, tune out all the distractions, and invite the presence and power of God into our lives? It might not be fireballs and whirlwinds, but we can be sure it would be something that would impact the way we live out the mission of God in this world.
Jesus taught that the power behind his extraordinary life was the Holy Spirit, and that this power was going to be given to His followers when he returned to heaven. I was taught growing up that there was a part of God that was best understood through experience, and that this was the Holy Spirit. The biblical metaphors for the Holy Spirit are wind, fire, water, and oil. All these things are hard to contain, fluid, and evoke some sort of mystery. Maybe this is a case where our head can get in the way of what God wants to do in our hearts. What I do know is that the times in my faith journey that were most transforming were when I encountered the real presence and power of the very real and very personal Holy Spirit. Not as a nice idea, but as the actual Person of God reaching down to earth.
Filed under: Uncategorized
When Jesus delivered the famous “Sermon on the Mount,” he used a specific teaching style that established a redemptive dialogue with the culture of the day. He would take a common cultural understanding or a popular belief, and then he would set it against wisdom from the Kingdom of God. He would start each statement with “You have heard…”, outlining the conventional notion about topics like divorce, revenge, adultery, and so on. He would confront the popular notion by saying “but I tell you…” and slam into the assumptions of culture with the radical perspective of the Kingdom.
In this series for Echo High School, we have been asking the question: what would Jesus confront today? What are the popularly held values and beliefs that Jesus would challenge? What would happen if the Kingdom of God collided with our culture? What would Jesus say about some of the things we assume to be true or about what our culture values?
Fame Obsession – I could not help but notice they are remaking the movie Fame. Our culture has an obsession with fame. We see it in shows like American Idol, So You Think You Can Dance, America’s Got Talent, and all the other spin-offs and copycats. We hear it in songs by everyone from Eminem to Miley Cirus. We witness fame worship at events like the Oscars and VMAs. We feel it when athletes pursue the best stats at the expense of their team. We are reminded of it every time someone else gets noticed for something and every time we feel less important than someone else. We crave recognition, fame, and notoriety. We dream about being “discovered.” We have all this drive and ambition to be the best, the first, the greatest, the most successful, and the most accomplished. This of course is not inherently evil, but I wonder sometimes how healthy it really is. This drive is what motivates us to do anything of value, but this drive can easily become about leading us to a place of power, control, or fame. This is where Jesus would confront this reality.
I think he would say something like this: “You have heard that chasing fame is a worthy pursuit. But I tell you true greatness is not recognized by crowds. True greatness is found in serving the least. You have heard that you should be worried about becoming something, achieving something, or doing something that makes you great and gets you noticed. I tell you to stop worrying about becoming first or becoming the best. Start worrying about how you can serve those on the bottom.”
Jesus was once asked by his fame-focused followers who was the greatest in the Kingdom of God (check out Matthew 18:1-10). Jesus told them that if they want to go UP in the Kingdom of God, they need to look DOWN. Taking a little child who was undoubtedly looked down on by the self-important disciples, Jesus said they needed to become like “a little child” to understand it. Jesus redefines “greatness.” Greatness is not notoriety, fame, or prestige, it is what you have done to serve the “least.” This passage has a lot to say about the whole “I’m famous but I don’t want to be a role model” nonsense we hear often. Most “famous” people, by the standard of this world, do nothing to benefit such unimportant people as the “least of these.” They would actually be in the camp of people that “cause them to sin.” Jesus’ answer to his disciples let’s them know they are asking the wrong question. It should not be a matter of “how do I get ahead in the Kingdom?” It should be a matter of “who should I serve as an agent of the Kingdom?” They are looking up, but they should be looking down. They are focused on who is the greatest, but Jesus is focused on those who are least.
Seriously – what would change in our world if a handful of people started pursuing service like most people pursue fame or popularity?
Maybe trying to be the coolest person imaginable is not the direction our lives should be heading in. Maybe what we need is some kind of UNCOOL REVOLUTION. What if we were less concerned about being noticed, discovered, recognized, gaining fame and popularity – and more concerned about serving others?
Filed under: Uncategorized
One of my “mentors from afar” (someone who has a great influence on me without ever having met me), Walt Mueller, is an interpreter and analyst of youth culture. He encourages parents and youth pastors every year to sit down for a while and watch the MTV VMA’s. Now I know you have better things than this to do on a Sunday night, but would you consider tuning in for a bit or setting your DVR to capture some of it? Look at the exercise as research into the “world beneath.” They start this Sunday at 9pm EST.
The VMA’s are a window into youth culture. You will see things that disturb you, other things that shock you, and still others that should bother you but do not. Try and watch it through the eyes of a teen or preteen. While you watch, keep these questions in the front of your mind:
Based on what I’m seeing on the VMAs. . .
-who are we as a culture?
-what do we value in our culture?
-what do we believe in our culture?
-how are we choosing to live in our culture?
Filed under: Uncategorized
We kicked off our Fall series for Echo Middle School last Sunday, where we are trying to help prepare our students for the challenges they will face this school year. We welcomed a new batch of 6th graders that will brave the wild hallways of Mercer or Stone Hill for the first time, many of which were a little bit intimidated. I think it is easy for adults to forget how tough middle school really is. In middle school, we are faced with teachers that know very little about us because they only have us for one hour per day. We are faced with enormous amounts of social pressure and social changes as cliques are formed and friend groups are tested and established. We are faced with physical changes as we are hit with the curse of unwanted and unwelcome hormones. The opposite sex has always had “cooties,” but now we are starting to notice their “booties.” What adult can forget the “fashion anxiety” we experienced for the first time when “fitting in” became a major priority. Add to this the massive amounts of homework and the academic pressure. It seems as if some things you face in middle school are very much adult while what we really want is to still be a kid.
Our new series is focusing on the challenges that students face during adolescence. There are three tasks in the adolescent journey, and every student is seeking to settle these issues in some way:
1. IDENTITY - Who am I and who do I want to be? What defines me? What do I want to be known for?
2. BELONGING – Where do I fit? Who is in my “tribe?” Whose opinions and acceptance matter to me?
3. AUTONOMY - Do I and my choices matter? What am I all about? Do I have a purpose, a reason for being? How to I establish a voice and opinions that are uniquely my own? How do I find independence?
Throughout this series, we will address these questions and dare students to find the answers in Christ and God’s Kingdom. Parents, especially if this is your first teenager, pay attention to these three issues because they will serve as a road map for much of the conflict and drama of the adolescent journey. Fights about curfew and cell phone usage are rooted in their quest for autonomy. The reason they are now embarrassed to be seen with you has everything to do with their quest for belonging in a teenage “tribe.” The reason haircuts, fashion, music, shoes, etc. start to matter so much is because these are avenues of searching and expression in their quest to establish identity.
The big issue spiritually for the teen years, and the one we focus on in ECHO, is whether or not each student will be the influenced or the influencer. As they search this out and navigate the challenges of their teen years, will they go with the flow or will they step out as agents of change for God’s Kingdom? This is a huge challenge, but I have seen so many students step up and into it that I have hope for each of our students. Middle School is tough, but they can actually thrive there and not just survive.
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: communication, connecting parents, facebook, peer pressure, redeeming culture, student ministry, teen internet use, wisdom, youth ministry
We are getting close to back to school – so we decided to address some issues for the upcoming year with Echo. We did a short 2 part series called “words” with our middle schoolers this month to address the issue of responsible communication. Think back to a time before twitter, skype, facebook, myspace, instant messenger, texting, cell phones, computers, land lines, and even the printing press. It is hard for me remember that I lived in a time when I was not INSTANTLY reachable through multiple streams of communication all the time. Every time we there has been an advance in communication technology, it has had a major impact on our culture. Why? Because words are powerful. The communication of ideas and opinions is power!
All over the bible, you will find writers pleading with people to recognize the power of words and to be careful with it. James 3 is a great example. James understood that words have power. He cautions people to recognize that what comes out of their mouths can have a dramatic impact on the world, for good or for evil. The playground proverb: “sticks and stones will break my bones but words will never hurt me” has never been true. The bible teaches people to watch carefully what they say. This is such good advice. Once something is spoken, it is out there. It cannot be taken back. In our technologically connected culture, this is even more important. One youth leader told me a story of a work related online discussion forum post he had made 8 YEARS ago that was still available through a google search. Colleges and prospective employers are getting good at checking out facebook pages and other social networks. How can we help our students be safe and responsible with their words, virtual and actual?
Our students need to know that some things should not be shared. Proverbs 10:19 says “Too much talk leads to sin. Be sensible and keep your mouth shut.” For issues of safety, privacy, and for the good of others, some things should be kept private. A facebook status update that informs the world that your family is going on vacation for a week and leaving an empty house might as well be an invitation for trouble. Those pictures of teens in their bathing suits they so readily post do not help much in our quest to protect them from becoming objectified. Argument between friends can hurt a lot of people and cause a lot of collateral social damage when it is handled through public wall posts. The fact is, you can find out a load of personal information (pet’s names, school, grade, friends names), right down to the times and places where people are through the internet. If you have not talked with your student to make sure they have the right privacy settings on their social networking pages or to make sure they know what is appropriate to share online, do so right now. One of the things that always impresses me is how poor teens do at choosing chat handles and email addresses. “Dancingcutie94″ is not a good screen name. It tells me you are 15 years old and it encourages every creep to imagine you dancing. Check out http://www.safeteens.com/ for more tips.
Questions for parents of teenagers:
*Do you know if your teen uses facebook, myspace, twitter, aim, etc? Do you visit their pages often? Do you have their passwords and account info?
*If your teen has their own cell phone, have you talked about appropriate texting and media use?
*Is the family computer in a “high traffic” area of the house, or do students have access to computers in private locations?
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Part 3 of my Twilight rant is for the guys. These books are obviously written for the ladies, as the story is told from the point of view of Bella and includes a great deal of her emotional turmoil. Still, they do offer a different take on vampire mythology, which guys can appreciate. So let’s talk about Edward. Edward is a vampire, and as such, he craves blood. The assumption of most vampires in the Twilight universe is something like: “why fight what feels natural? If we weren’t supposed to eat people, we wouldn’t have the urge to eat them.” The urge is viewed as something uncontrollable. Edward is different. Edward is a part of a vampire coven that does not feed on humans. They hunt only animals to satisfy their thirst. They have to work very hard to maintain their lifestyle. They are represent a different kind of vampire.
What God needs right now is a different kind of man. Let me explain.
Every guy has some version of the story. Maybe you found a magazine somewhere. Maybe it was a catalog your mom left out. Maybe you stumbled unto a website you shouldn’t have. Whatever it was, curiosity turned into something different, and something was ignited inside you. Welcome to what one author called “every man’s battle.” I think that a lot of guys “buy in” to the system of the world, where it is assumed that this fire is not controllable. They have urges so they obey them. Lust takes over quickly. Their lives becomes a series of hookups if they have the means and a desperate longing for it if they don’t. Our culture enforces the idea that guys are little more than animal every time they depict males as exaggerated, sex-crazed idiots. Most male characters in teen movies are on an endless quest for sex, as if that is the ultimate pursuit that defines their existence. What are we but animals anyway?
This is an old argument – it goes all the way back to the 1st Century. Back then, it was a religious group called Gnostics that were trying to convince people that it was all “just physical,” so they could partake without having to worry. It is just your body doing those things, your true self does not participate. It doesn’t really work like that. Sex is not just a physical experience (no matter what form it takes). We need to learn to see it in terms beyond that of the animal level. We need to be more than animals.
2 Samuel 11 tells a story that should resonate with young men (and old men) that struggle with their desires and appetites. This account of how David lost a battle with sexual temptation also might have a clue for those looking to become the master their appetites before their appetites master them. King David gets bored late in his life; this epic hero that battled giants and led armies to victory is now tamed by the commonplace demands of administering his kingdom. The other kings go to war, but David stays home. The giant slayer is now entertaining himself with something as thrilling as…a walk…while Joab is out “destroying the Amorites.” Something I notice in the Twilight book is that Edward is his own worst enemy for most of the story. The conflict is between him and his desires: he wants to eat Bella but he also loves Bella and wants to do what is right. This is true until a greater enemy surfaces. Another vampire threatens Bella, and all thoughts about tortured Edward and his appetites and desires are reduced to nothing. Edward comes alive and discovers a strength he didn’t know he had to resist temptation.
Maybe the reason many young men are so tortured by sexual desire and temptation is because they are under challenged and bored. Maybe the problem is that we live such small lives with small challenges and small dreams that we have nothing else to do but brood over our misplaced desires. If young men started stepping out and doing something huge for the Kingdom of God, I wonder if they would find strength they didn’t know they had. Do you think that king David would have been worried about his lust problem on the field of battle?
Here is another idea: what if young men started fighting for her right now, even if they have yet to meet her. I mean they fight for purity as a way to show love and value to “the one.” Save her from the heartbreak and drama that a list of hookups and breakups brings into a marriage by paying the price of purity now. Save her from having to deal with your internet porn addiction by dealing with that issue now. It is entirely possible for men to master their desires.
