Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: Acts, boring church, church and teens, connecting parents, Dulles Community Church, ECHO, engaging culture, Eutychus, Family Ministry, help someone in need, love your neighbor, never ending story, Parents, redeeming culture, student ministry, Teens, youth ministry
The 4th message in our series The Never Ending Story brought us to a passage that is comical and tragic at the same time. Acts 20:7-12 tells the story of a young man named Eutychus. Eutychus means “Lucky.” However, this guy was not so lucky. Paul is leaving the city of Troas in the morning, and I guess he is trying to make the most of his time. After an evening of “church,” Paul keeps preaching late into the night. Our lucky young man Eutychus is trying to stay awake, but he can’t. He falls asleep. Now this is a problem because the meeting is being held on the third story, and Eutychus was sitting in the window sill. When he falls asleep, he actually falls out of the window. It wasn’t the three story fall that killed him; it was the sudden stop as he hit the ground! This story is a bit amusing, but still pretty tragic. A young man dies in this story, right in the middle of their church service. Now, it does have a happy ending, because Paul raises him from the dead. This is one of only a few miracles like this in the whole Bible. What is crazy to me is that after this drama, Paul goes back up stairs to finish his message.
As someone who has given his life to help this generation of young people, this story hits me pretty hard. I have sat through some boring messages in my life, the kind you wish would end, and I am sure I have even delivered a few myself. I have to ask the question: why did this young man fall asleep? Why was he in the window? How did this happen? In many ways, a whole generation of young people have essentially “fallen asleep” when it comes to God’s Kingdom. What is going on? Is church boring teens to death?
Was Eutychus bored? If so, I find this disturbing. Something has gone horribly wrong when the revolution that was started by Jesus Christ is viewed as boring. It means that we are under-challenging people and soft-peddling the gospel. I am not saying that everyone should be able to love the message of Jesus. It could be rejected as too hard, but it should never be boring. This is an assumption that I would really like to do my part to challenge. The message of Jesus is anything but boring and irrelevant.
Was Eutychus worn out? Maybe he was like many teenagers in this area – a bit overloaded with “stuff.” Maybe he had just finished his biology homework, knowing fell well that he still had that English essay and those Latin vocab words to memorize by tomorrow. Plus there is always a girlfriend to text, karate practice to attend, and a meeting for some future business leaders of Loudoun County that his dad made him join. Maybe he was just worn out. Maybe Eutychus had no time for what really matters because he was so busy with other stuff.
Was Eutychus overlooked? This is the one possibility that I really lose sleep over. One of my friends and ministry mentors told me a haunting story. When he was a youth pastor, he had an unremarkable boy named Brian Warner visit his youth ministry several times. The boy did not connect with anyone, make a friend, or try very hard to get involved. The group did not seem very interested in involving him or reaching out to him either. After a few weeks, he was gone. What makes this boy stand out a bit in the sea of nameless faces is that he is now known by a different name: Marilyn Manson. Just a thought – but his future could have been considerably different if one or two teens showed some hospitality or concern.
The thought that any teenager would feel like they do not matter or they do not belong breaks my heart. That should not be the case as long as God has any people living and breathing down here on earth. The Kingdom of God is in the business of ascribing unsurpassed worth to everyone, even those that might otherwise be overlooked or go unnoticed. Every student should matter, they should be seen, and they should be known. We talked out this week how it is the responsibility of all of us to make sure this never happens.
Echo exists because we are concerned about the teens that are sitting in the window in danger of falling asleep concerning the things of God. We want to seek out the teens like Eutychus, invite them off the window sill, and help them hear the challenge of the Gospel of Christ.
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: Acts, Dulles Community Church, ECHO, engaging culture, Holy Spirit, never ending story, Pentecost, student ministry, Teens, the Empress, youth ministry
When I was a kid, my world was rocked by a movie called The Never Ending Story. A boy finds an old book, and as he reads he is drawn in to the adventure story. There are mythic creatures, heroes, and enemies; a beautiful empress (one of my first childhood crushes) and a world in peril. At some point, he realizes that he is actually in the story himself; that what happens in the story is connected to him in some way. Beyond his imagination and his connection with the characters, his choices in the world have a direct impact on the world in the book. As “imagination” dies in the real world, “The Nothing” claims more of the fantasy world.
The book of Acts in the Bible is sort of like this story. It doesn’t really have an ending; it ends abruptly with Paul in prison, almost like it is unfinished. This has led some people to believe its author died before it could be finished, but other people believe it was intentional. The book of Acts functions as a history of Christianity, telling the stories of the earliest followers of Jesus. Maybe the author intended it to be unfinished to imply that the story of Christianity continues with future readers. The story isn’t over, there is no ending, it continues with you and me. Reading the book of Acts, we might find that this story is our story: that we are actually connected to the book. In that regard, maybe it is the Never Ending Story.
This month in Echo, I am challenging our students to read through the book of Acts as we examine some of the episodes from the earliest days of the Jesus Revolution. As we explore the adventures of the first followers of Jesus and their quest to advance the Kingdom of God, we will be constantly asking the question: how can I find myself in this story?
Week 1, we talked out the role of the Holy Spirit in the book of Acts. The Holy Spirit sometimes doesn’t get much press. In the old creeds and catechisms (the way the Christian faith has been handed down for generations) Jesus and God the Father get paragraphs of explanation, but the Holy Spirit barely gets one line. Early in Acts, Jesus promised his disciples that when He left them, they would be “baptized with the Holy Spirit.” That word baptized literally means “immersed.” John (the baptist!) immersed people in water as a symbol of being washed to be cleansed of sin. Jesus is saying to the disciples that they will be “immersed” in the Holy Spirit. It will be like they fell into the pool: they will be soaked, drenched, surrounded, and covered by the Holy Spirit. Pentecost, the event that follows, is when the first Christians receive the Holy Spirit. This event is what opens the book of Acts, clearly demonstrating that everything that follows is the result of the Holy Spirit working through these first Christians.
This is AWESOME. The Holy Spirit at work through the followers of Jesus a major theme in the book of Acts. You will see over and over again the phrase “…filled with the Holy Spirit.” It is very clear that what is happening is not because of the people, it is because of the power of God through the Holy Spirit. They did some amazing things in this story. Thousands of people join the Way of Jesus through their ministry, people are physically and spiritually healed, and dramatic miracles take place all because of the activity of the Holy Spirit.
Some of the time, we do not experience God like we could because we are too impatient. We do not give God the chance to show up. We want our relationship with the King of Heaven to work like the microwave: giving us what we want immediately at the push of a button. The thought of waiting for days in prayer like they did in Acts 2 sounds boring and tedious, because much of our faith experience is just “going through the motions.” What if we recognized that we serve a God that wants to be experienced? What if we prayed and worshiped like there is a God that is real and powerful and wants to be with us and near us on the other end of our songs and prayers? If we could settle down, tune out all the distractions, and invite the presence and power of God into our lives? It might not be fireballs and whirlwinds, but we can be sure it would be something that would impact the way we live out the mission of God in this world.
Jesus taught that the power behind his extraordinary life was the Holy Spirit, and that this power was going to be given to His followers when he returned to heaven. I was taught growing up that there was a part of God that was best understood through experience, and that this was the Holy Spirit. The biblical metaphors for the Holy Spirit are wind, fire, water, and oil. All these things are hard to contain, fluid, and evoke some sort of mystery. Maybe this is a case where our head can get in the way of what God wants to do in our hearts. What I do know is that the times in my faith journey that were most transforming were when I encountered the real presence and power of the very real and very personal Holy Spirit. Not as a nice idea, but as the actual Person of God reaching down to earth.
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When Jesus delivered the famous “Sermon on the Mount,” he used a specific teaching style that established a redemptive dialogue with the culture of the day. He would take a common cultural understanding or a popular belief, and then he would set it against wisdom from the Kingdom of God. He would start each statement with “You have heard…”, outlining the conventional notion about topics like divorce, revenge, adultery, and so on. He would confront the popular notion by saying “but I tell you…” and slam into the assumptions of culture with the radical perspective of the Kingdom.
In this series for Echo High School, we have been asking the question: what would Jesus confront today? What are the popularly held values and beliefs that Jesus would challenge? What would happen if the Kingdom of God collided with our culture? What would Jesus say about some of the things we assume to be true or about what our culture values?
Fame Obsession – I could not help but notice they are remaking the movie Fame. Our culture has an obsession with fame. We see it in shows like American Idol, So You Think You Can Dance, America’s Got Talent, and all the other spin-offs and copycats. We hear it in songs by everyone from Eminem to Miley Cirus. We witness fame worship at events like the Oscars and VMAs. We feel it when athletes pursue the best stats at the expense of their team. We are reminded of it every time someone else gets noticed for something and every time we feel less important than someone else. We crave recognition, fame, and notoriety. We dream about being “discovered.” We have all this drive and ambition to be the best, the first, the greatest, the most successful, and the most accomplished. This of course is not inherently evil, but I wonder sometimes how healthy it really is. This drive is what motivates us to do anything of value, but this drive can easily become about leading us to a place of power, control, or fame. This is where Jesus would confront this reality.
I think he would say something like this: “You have heard that chasing fame is a worthy pursuit. But I tell you true greatness is not recognized by crowds. True greatness is found in serving the least. You have heard that you should be worried about becoming something, achieving something, or doing something that makes you great and gets you noticed. I tell you to stop worrying about becoming first or becoming the best. Start worrying about how you can serve those on the bottom.”
Jesus was once asked by his fame-focused followers who was the greatest in the Kingdom of God (check out Matthew 18:1-10). Jesus told them that if they want to go UP in the Kingdom of God, they need to look DOWN. Taking a little child who was undoubtedly looked down on by the self-important disciples, Jesus said they needed to become like “a little child” to understand it. Jesus redefines “greatness.” Greatness is not notoriety, fame, or prestige, it is what you have done to serve the “least.” This passage has a lot to say about the whole “I’m famous but I don’t want to be a role model” nonsense we hear often. Most “famous” people, by the standard of this world, do nothing to benefit such unimportant people as the “least of these.” They would actually be in the camp of people that “cause them to sin.” Jesus’ answer to his disciples let’s them know they are asking the wrong question. It should not be a matter of “how do I get ahead in the Kingdom?” It should be a matter of “who should I serve as an agent of the Kingdom?” They are looking up, but they should be looking down. They are focused on who is the greatest, but Jesus is focused on those who are least.
Seriously – what would change in our world if a handful of people started pursuing service like most people pursue fame or popularity?
Maybe trying to be the coolest person imaginable is not the direction our lives should be heading in. Maybe what we need is some kind of UNCOOL REVOLUTION. What if we were less concerned about being noticed, discovered, recognized, gaining fame and popularity – and more concerned about serving others?
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One of my “mentors from afar” (someone who has a great influence on me without ever having met me), Walt Mueller, is an interpreter and analyst of youth culture. He encourages parents and youth pastors every year to sit down for a while and watch the MTV VMA’s. Now I know you have better things than this to do on a Sunday night, but would you consider tuning in for a bit or setting your DVR to capture some of it? Look at the exercise as research into the “world beneath.” They start this Sunday at 9pm EST.
The VMA’s are a window into youth culture. You will see things that disturb you, other things that shock you, and still others that should bother you but do not. Try and watch it through the eyes of a teen or preteen. While you watch, keep these questions in the front of your mind:
Based on what I’m seeing on the VMAs. . .
-who are we as a culture?
-what do we value in our culture?
-what do we believe in our culture?
-how are we choosing to live in our culture?
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We kicked off our Fall series for Echo Middle School last Sunday, where we are trying to help prepare our students for the challenges they will face this school year. We welcomed a new batch of 6th graders that will brave the wild hallways of Mercer or Stone Hill for the first time, many of which were a little bit intimidated. I think it is easy for adults to forget how tough middle school really is. In middle school, we are faced with teachers that know very little about us because they only have us for one hour per day. We are faced with enormous amounts of social pressure and social changes as cliques are formed and friend groups are tested and established. We are faced with physical changes as we are hit with the curse of unwanted and unwelcome hormones. The opposite sex has always had “cooties,” but now we are starting to notice their “booties.” What adult can forget the “fashion anxiety” we experienced for the first time when “fitting in” became a major priority. Add to this the massive amounts of homework and the academic pressure. It seems as if some things you face in middle school are very much adult while what we really want is to still be a kid.
Our new series is focusing on the challenges that students face during adolescence. There are three tasks in the adolescent journey, and every student is seeking to settle these issues in some way:
1. IDENTITY - Who am I and who do I want to be? What defines me? What do I want to be known for?
2. BELONGING – Where do I fit? Who is in my “tribe?” Whose opinions and acceptance matter to me?
3. AUTONOMY - Do I and my choices matter? What am I all about? Do I have a purpose, a reason for being? How to I establish a voice and opinions that are uniquely my own? How do I find independence?
Throughout this series, we will address these questions and dare students to find the answers in Christ and God’s Kingdom. Parents, especially if this is your first teenager, pay attention to these three issues because they will serve as a road map for much of the conflict and drama of the adolescent journey. Fights about curfew and cell phone usage are rooted in their quest for autonomy. The reason they are now embarrassed to be seen with you has everything to do with their quest for belonging in a teenage “tribe.” The reason haircuts, fashion, music, shoes, etc. start to matter so much is because these are avenues of searching and expression in their quest to establish identity.
The big issue spiritually for the teen years, and the one we focus on in ECHO, is whether or not each student will be the influenced or the influencer. As they search this out and navigate the challenges of their teen years, will they go with the flow or will they step out as agents of change for God’s Kingdom? This is a huge challenge, but I have seen so many students step up and into it that I have hope for each of our students. Middle School is tough, but they can actually thrive there and not just survive.
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: communication, connecting parents, facebook, peer pressure, redeeming culture, student ministry, teen internet use, wisdom, youth ministry
We are getting close to back to school – so we decided to address some issues for the upcoming year with Echo. We did a short 2 part series called “words” with our middle schoolers this month to address the issue of responsible communication. Think back to a time before twitter, skype, facebook, myspace, instant messenger, texting, cell phones, computers, land lines, and even the printing press. It is hard for me remember that I lived in a time when I was not INSTANTLY reachable through multiple streams of communication all the time. Every time we there has been an advance in communication technology, it has had a major impact on our culture. Why? Because words are powerful. The communication of ideas and opinions is power!
All over the bible, you will find writers pleading with people to recognize the power of words and to be careful with it. James 3 is a great example. James understood that words have power. He cautions people to recognize that what comes out of their mouths can have a dramatic impact on the world, for good or for evil. The playground proverb: “sticks and stones will break my bones but words will never hurt me” has never been true. The bible teaches people to watch carefully what they say. This is such good advice. Once something is spoken, it is out there. It cannot be taken back. In our technologically connected culture, this is even more important. One youth leader told me a story of a work related online discussion forum post he had made 8 YEARS ago that was still available through a google search. Colleges and prospective employers are getting good at checking out facebook pages and other social networks. How can we help our students be safe and responsible with their words, virtual and actual?
Our students need to know that some things should not be shared. Proverbs 10:19 says “Too much talk leads to sin. Be sensible and keep your mouth shut.” For issues of safety, privacy, and for the good of others, some things should be kept private. A facebook status update that informs the world that your family is going on vacation for a week and leaving an empty house might as well be an invitation for trouble. Those pictures of teens in their bathing suits they so readily post do not help much in our quest to protect them from becoming objectified. Argument between friends can hurt a lot of people and cause a lot of collateral social damage when it is handled through public wall posts. The fact is, you can find out a load of personal information (pet’s names, school, grade, friends names), right down to the times and places where people are through the internet. If you have not talked with your student to make sure they have the right privacy settings on their social networking pages or to make sure they know what is appropriate to share online, do so right now. One of the things that always impresses me is how poor teens do at choosing chat handles and email addresses. “Dancingcutie94″ is not a good screen name. It tells me you are 15 years old and it encourages every creep to imagine you dancing. Check out http://www.safeteens.com/ for more tips.
Questions for parents of teenagers:
*Do you know if your teen uses facebook, myspace, twitter, aim, etc? Do you visit their pages often? Do you have their passwords and account info?
*If your teen has their own cell phone, have you talked about appropriate texting and media use?
*Is the family computer in a “high traffic” area of the house, or do students have access to computers in private locations?
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Part 3 of my Twilight rant is for the guys. These books are obviously written for the ladies, as the story is told from the point of view of Bella and includes a great deal of her emotional turmoil. Still, they do offer a different take on vampire mythology, which guys can appreciate. So let’s talk about Edward. Edward is a vampire, and as such, he craves blood. The assumption of most vampires in the Twilight universe is something like: “why fight what feels natural? If we weren’t supposed to eat people, we wouldn’t have the urge to eat them.” The urge is viewed as something uncontrollable. Edward is different. Edward is a part of a vampire coven that does not feed on humans. They hunt only animals to satisfy their thirst. They have to work very hard to maintain their lifestyle. They are represent a different kind of vampire.
What God needs right now is a different kind of man. Let me explain.
Every guy has some version of the story. Maybe you found a magazine somewhere. Maybe it was a catalog your mom left out. Maybe you stumbled unto a website you shouldn’t have. Whatever it was, curiosity turned into something different, and something was ignited inside you. Welcome to what one author called “every man’s battle.” I think that a lot of guys “buy in” to the system of the world, where it is assumed that this fire is not controllable. They have urges so they obey them. Lust takes over quickly. Their lives becomes a series of hookups if they have the means and a desperate longing for it if they don’t. Our culture enforces the idea that guys are little more than animal every time they depict males as exaggerated, sex-crazed idiots. Most male characters in teen movies are on an endless quest for sex, as if that is the ultimate pursuit that defines their existence. What are we but animals anyway?
This is an old argument – it goes all the way back to the 1st Century. Back then, it was a religious group called Gnostics that were trying to convince people that it was all “just physical,” so they could partake without having to worry. It is just your body doing those things, your true self does not participate. It doesn’t really work like that. Sex is not just a physical experience (no matter what form it takes). We need to learn to see it in terms beyond that of the animal level. We need to be more than animals.
2 Samuel 11 tells a story that should resonate with young men (and old men) that struggle with their desires and appetites. This account of how David lost a battle with sexual temptation also might have a clue for those looking to become the master their appetites before their appetites master them. King David gets bored late in his life; this epic hero that battled giants and led armies to victory is now tamed by the commonplace demands of administering his kingdom. The other kings go to war, but David stays home. The giant slayer is now entertaining himself with something as thrilling as…a walk…while Joab is out “destroying the Amorites.” Something I notice in the Twilight book is that Edward is his own worst enemy for most of the story. The conflict is between him and his desires: he wants to eat Bella but he also loves Bella and wants to do what is right. This is true until a greater enemy surfaces. Another vampire threatens Bella, and all thoughts about tortured Edward and his appetites and desires are reduced to nothing. Edward comes alive and discovers a strength he didn’t know he had to resist temptation.
Maybe the reason many young men are so tortured by sexual desire and temptation is because they are under challenged and bored. Maybe the problem is that we live such small lives with small challenges and small dreams that we have nothing else to do but brood over our misplaced desires. If young men started stepping out and doing something huge for the Kingdom of God, I wonder if they would find strength they didn’t know they had. Do you think that king David would have been worried about his lust problem on the field of battle?
Here is another idea: what if young men started fighting for her right now, even if they have yet to meet her. I mean they fight for purity as a way to show love and value to “the one.” Save her from the heartbreak and drama that a list of hookups and breakups brings into a marriage by paying the price of purity now. Save her from having to deal with your internet porn addiction by dealing with that issue now. It is entirely possible for men to master their desires.
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: connecting parents, Dulles Community Church, ECHO, engaging culture, Family Ministry, Forbidden Fruit, healthy sexuality, Orange, Parents, redeeming culture, Teens, Twilight, youth ministry
As an ongoing exercise in cultural redemption, we have been looking at the Twilight phenomenon. These love stories have taken teenage girls by storm…much to the puzzlement of many teenage guys. It is a typical story of girl meets boy, (who seems to be the only one that understands her) falls in love, and much emotional drama ensues. The twist is: the boy is a vampire. Their relationship is complicated by his “thirst” for her blood, which serves as a bit of a metaphor and the source of erotic tension. These characters endure an ever present, mutual desire that culminates with Bella – on prom night – offering her jugular to Edward so that his bite might turn her into a vampire…Hmm….sound at all familiar?
Let’s look at this story from the perspective of a teenage girl, who sees the unfolding drama through Bella’s eyes. Bella has her dreams come true in storybook fashion. She is described as a very plain, ordinary young lady, yet she manages to capture the heart of a very extraordinary guy (two extraordinary guys if you read the whole series). Edward is a vampire, and that gives him some supernatural charm or power over women. He seems to be able to attract people. He is also in possession of the ability to read the minds of the people around him. The book portrays him as some sort of Super Romeo; the perfect balance of good looks and intrigue. He has his pick of the girls, but he only chooses one. Not insignificantly, this girl is the one whose mind he cannot read. She is the one least available to him. The questions racing through the minds of teenage girls are along the lines of: “how can this happen to me?” What is it that makes some people stand out and others seem rather ordinary? How do I get the attention of Prince Charming? What is it that makes a woman captivating?
This is a huge question that our teenage girls struggle to answer, and their culture is short on quality answers. Am I attractive? Am I enough? Am I captivating? Will a guy ever bother to pursue me and fight for me?
Our girls are growing up in a twisted world. I heard one story (it made national news) of a young woman auctioning her virginity. She is “putting it out there.” That seems to be the model in culture right now. I am not saying that many women are so blatantly “for sale,” but I am saying that many women “have it in the showroom,” so to speak. Modesty is a lost art. I don’t think that girls understand what really captures a man’s heart. Many seem to understand what captures a man’s eye – that is easy. You don’t want his eye – you want his heart. His eye is the most fickle and fleeting part of him. You want a man to give his life to chase you and delight in you and cherish you forever. You want a man that can appreciate the beauty of who you are long after time has its way with your physical body. When it comes to finding a mate, the question our teenagers should be asking is: how do you get the attention of his heart?
Beauty is another reality distorted in the teenage mind by our culture. Let me give you an example: a very pretty 15 year old comes to me and her youth leader because she is struggling with bulimia. This might sound shocking, but when you stop and think that the average model is 5’10” and weighs 110 lbs, but the average woman is 5’4” and weighs 150 lbs, it’s easy to see why this creates a tremendous health risk for young girls. Advertisers are hiring psychologists to help them exploit teenagers’ insecurities to sell more products. Last year, girls saw more advertisements for diet products than adults. I just read an article about students having anxiety attacks about acne on prom. I thought zits were a part of the teenage deal! This distorted ideal makes this world a very hard place to be girl. I am finding more and more girls that never feel like they are enough. “I am not pretty enough, I am not skinny enough, my hair is not thick enough, my skin is not smooth enough, some things are never big enough, and other things are never small enough.” As our teenagers are struggling to figure this out, we need to help them discover the biblical ideal of inner beauty. They need help so they don’t let beauty become something as superficial as their appearance; what they weigh, what they wear, and so on. Let your beauty be found within. When they settle this issue in their hearts, they will finally find “enough.”
These are just symptoms of the real problem. Ultimately, Bella decides what many girls decide: that life without Edward is not really worth living. She is only complete when she is with him. The heart of every woman is seeking the answers to specific questions: am I loved, am I valuable, am I captivating, am I wanted and needed? No guy can be the answer to these questions. Our girls have a hunger in their souls for a significance “he” (whoever he may be) cannot give them. I have met too many girls that are incomplete without a boy on their arm. The truth is: having that boy makes them no more complete. When we can find the answers to the questions of our hearts in the presence of God, we will have found the source of true strength. The most beautiful and strong kind of girl is the one that is confident in her identity in Christ. She respects herself, and so others will respect and value her too.
Filed under: Uncategorized | Tags: connecting parents, Dulles Community Church, ECHO, engaging culture, Family Ministry, Forbidden Fruit, healthy sexuality, Parents, Purity, redeeming culture, Song of Songs, student ministry, Teens, Twilight, youth ministry
This Sunday, in the Main Service at DCC, I will tackle the movie/book Twilight as a cultural parable. We did an entire series on the book a few months back for Echo High School, and we had some great conversations with our students about desire, temptation, appetites, and sexuality. As I prepare to talk to DCC’s adult population, I have never had so much “input” from people that want to make sure I handle the message “correctly.” This is not from teenagers, this is from adults. People LOVE their vampires it seems.
My thoughts for the parents of Echo students on this book, movie, and cultural phenomenon are as follows:
First, let me comment on the church and cultural engagement. Years ago, when the craze was a boy named Harry who happened to be a wizard, our youth ministry did a sermon series talking out redemptive themes and looking critically at the worldview behind the “Potterverse.” The fact that a youth ministry was talking about these issues severely disturbed a pastor of a neighboring church. He called me to warn me about the dangers of witchcraft and the sinister nature of Harry Potter and to tell me about the plan of the author to turn our children into warlocks. When I respectfully disagreed, he called the officials of the denomination I was credentialed with (who told him to mind his own business). The facts as I saw them then were: 1.The kind of fantasy magic in books like Harry Potter resembles the real witchcraft that the bible forbids like W.W.E. resembles real hand-to-hand combat. It is imaginary. The imagination is something that honors God and should be set free and employed to the purpose of the Kingdom of God. 2. The church is at its best when it can hear the stories and songs of the culture it finds itself in and redeem them. Hiding from culture or ignoring culture are two fast ways to minimize the influence God has called His people to have. 3. The apostle Paul, when preaching to a crowd of pagans and philosophers in Athens, did not quote scripture. Instead, he quoted the words of one of their own poets. He used the art and expression of the receptor culture to find common ground for spiritual conversation. 4. Not one of the students that sat through our sermon series on Harry Potter became a warlock. No spells were cast and no brooms were ridden. My point is that the crowd that says “Vampires are evil because blood drinking is forbidden in the Old Testament” needs to be reminded that no one reading a novel about a girl falling in love with a vampire believes such vampires actually exist.
Second, let me tell you why I do think the Twilight books are somewhat dangerous. Many students (and children) are reading these books like they consume most media: in a vacuum. They watch TV alone because mom and dad don’t want to watch what they want to watch. They listen to music with little white earbuds because mom and dad don’t want to listen to that “noise.” My experience has been that teens and children are great observers but horrible interpreters. They don’t miss the subtleties of emotion or even innuendo that we assume goes over their heads. They have no idea what to do with the information or emotion they observe. When mom is reading Twilight with them, she can be so engrossed in the romance herself that she does not view the book through the eyes of her teenage daughter. I heard of a facebook club started by one woman calling women to join whose “husbands no longer met their expectations after Edward.” Song of Solomon, which is a Hebrew love poem, says 4 different times: “Do not awaken love before its time.” The bible is not down on sexuality, it celebrates it. It does however warn young people about starting a fire they cannot control. Twilight is a highly erotic book for the teenage mind. Yes, the characters remain celibate and their romance seems outwardly and physically appropriate. Yet there is much erotic tension in the wanting. Bella does not want to live without Edward, Edward hungers and thirsts for Bella. This is a heavy amount of passion for a 6th grader. They might not be able to connect the dots about how Bella offering up her neck to Edward on Prom night to make her a vampire is more than a bit allegorical about her virginity…but they do feel the impact of all the fantasy, desire, and longing that are exchanged between the teenage characters. There is a time and a place to celebrate that kind of intimacy, but it is not in the teen years. Our young teens do not always know how to process the introduction of this kind of emotion. Would you think it was appropriate for a father to give a 6th grade boy a Victoria’s Secret catalog? We all know how visually stimulated teenage boys are, so this type of thing rarely happens. I am not so sure we are as diligent about protecting our girls who are equally as stimulated emotionally. Again, I am not saying that Twilight is evil, but I am saying that parents should be aware of the heavy emotional and sexual themes in the story and prepare their teens accordingly.
Third, I believe strongly that more than anything else, parents shape the values and worldview of teens. If you haven’t yet, have some good conversations with your teen about sexuality. We know its awkward…we know they act like they don’t want to talk to you about it. I really believe it is all an act – they secretly want and need your guidance and advice on this stuff. Talk to them often and talk to them openly. Twilight gives you a great excuse!
I will blog about a few talk points for you and your teen over the next few days taken directly from our sermon series to Echo High School.
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Have you ever played the game Jenga? I don’t play it often – it is one of those games that take longer to set up and clean up than to actually play. You need to take these little blocks from the bottom and each time you pull out a block, you are making the tower less stable for your opponent. You keep going until someone cannot do it anymore because the tower comes crashing down. In the game of Jenga, you have to have a steady hand and courage. It is a little bit like playing chicken: who has what it takes to go the distance? This is what fortitude is all about. Let me explain:
Numbers 13:26-33 – The people of Israel have been set free from slavery a generation ago, and they are about to do something very hard: invade the land of Canaan. Spies from each tribe of Israel go to check out Canaan. The report they return with is discouraging. All but one of them are afraid of even the idea of invading the land. Caleb, the only dissenting voice, believes that God will give them a victory if they trust him. What Caleb has that the others do not is fortitude. The others are limited by fear and by doubt; they start whining and complaining because it seems that God is asking something of them that is hard and not easy. Beyond lacking the boldness to step out and believe God, they would inevitably lack the endurance to stick with the invasion when it got tough. This entire generation of doubters remains bound in fear on the wrong side of the Jordan River until they die. The younger generation is entrusted with the invasion.
Joshua 1:1-9 – Joshua becomes the leader of this younger generation. Over and over again in this passage, God reminds him to “be strong and courageous,” and not to be afraid.
What is Fortitude? It is “firmness of spirit, steadiness in doing good despite obstacles in the performance of our daily duty.” Fortitude is having the stomach to do hard things. This week, our middle schoolers talked out what it means to live with fortitude.
Fortitude places limits on fear. Courage is not always the absence of fear. It is controlled fear. It knows what to fear and what not to fear. This is the reason that Superman is not brave. He does amazing things, but he cannot be hurt, so there is no risk. Superman has nothing to lose, so he has nothing to fear. Fortitude is when people have something to lose, but they risk that something to do what is right anyway.
Fortitude enables us to take risks. Fortitude is sometimes called boldness. It is talked about as the balance between cowardice and rashness. It is not being crazy, but knowing when to take a risk and be bold, and when to play it safe. There is folly in both overconfidence and in cowardice. Sometimes teenagers are known for both – they can be reckless in some areas but lack the courage to stand for what is right in other areas. Recklessness is not fortitude. It takes a different kind of courage to stand up to a friend that is doing something wrong than it does to jump off a cliff into a river.
Fortitude is having what it takes to do hard things. Life in God’s Kingdom is never about taking the easy road. If you are not ready to something difficult, you are not ready to try and become a follower of Jesus. Jesus did not say that following him would be easy. In fact, he said the opposite.
Fortitude includes courage in both forms: the kind that faces danger, and the kind that sticks with it when it gets tough. Endurance is the other dimension of fortitude. It is sticking with it, staying the course, seeing it through. Imagine how hard it must have been for Joshua and Caleb when the conquest got really tough. They did not win every battle. They lost some battles horribly. Imagine how easy it would have been to give up in the face of loss. Fortitude is not just bravery, it is endurance. It is the ability to stick with something that is hard.
***Discussion questions for you and your teenager:
-Why do you think God reminded Joshua so many times to “be strong and courageous?”
-Can you think of an example of a foolish risk that a teenager might take, trying to prove something? What about a risk that could honor God and show true courage?
-Fortitude is both having the courage to take risks and face danger, and also having the will to stick with it when it gets tough. Which part of fortitude do you think is hardest?
